And The Dog Ate The Cheese....

I just wrote about how our dog is my young'un.

This is a perfect example. The other day Girly came home from school. Son followed on her heels from his new and improved day job. The day before I had just bought a 2 lb. box of Velveeta.....not ready for the fridge yet.. Somehow, during the four hours Brewzer was home by himself he got the box of "processed cheese" off the kitchen counter. How he got up that far and that deep on the counter is a mystery. He does these things when no one is around to witness, so we have no idea if he has some spiritual assistance or superdog power. Son and Girly found the box in Brewzie's kitchen bed. The box top had been ate thru... as well as the aluminum wrapper. he didn't take a big teranasourus bite out of the cheese but licked a huge indentation into half of the brick. Probably about a quarter or third of the whole brick. Son was happy. His exalted in the thought that with that much cheese in Brewzer's system, he wouldn't have to clean the yard for at least a couple of days.

I. on the other hand was pissed at Brewzie Baby. When I got home I whopped him on his butt with the remainder brick of cheese, stuck it in his face, shouting "BAD DOG!!! NO_NO!!!". He was clueless. "Huh? You gonna give me the rest of that cheese?? Gosh, you're a great doggy-mom!".

I threw the remaining cheese away. He didn't get the rest of the cheese but he didn't get the point of the disciplinary action either.

Now on this Saturday night, he lies in his kitchen dog bed, safely tucked in by Girly (he has his own blanket) sleeping like the king of the hill. What a life.

Bless the Beasts and Children

I've mentioned our dog, Brewzer. Our 80-90 lb. toddler. Remember the movie "Honey, I Blew Up the Baby"? We kind of have that situation with the dog. They need to have a "Biggest Loser" series on Animal Planet. He's a prime contestant. Maybe Anna Nicole can hook him up with some Trimspa. A friend of ours who has always had dogs swears Brewzer has a thyroid problem, but the vet says no. The vet keeps telling us he needs to lose weight, but no matter what we do, the weight doesn't come off. Maybe he's just big boned. That excuse works for a lot of people.

I had never owned a dog in my life and neither had my husband. I've also always been a little scared of them. Especially big dogs. Vito had roommates in his single days who had dogs so he had a slight advantage. He still considered them a pain in the butt. And to listen to him today, he still does. No matter that when he comes home in the evening the first one he greets and talks to is the dog. And the dog is all over him. He absolutely loves him. Clarification: the dog loves Vito. Husband says it's a dog's natural instinct to favor the leader of the pack.. I think that's a bunch of bull. (Even though Brewzer only truly listens to Vito) And though he will deny it to his dying day, Vito loves the dog.

Girly was only 8 when Brewz joined the household. They have grown up together. When she was younger she climbed on him, layed on him, dressed him up, etc. He just took it. When he was a little puppy he spent many a time laying across her lap (and mine)... The problem is that by the time he was 6 months he wasn't fittin' in anyone's lap.

Brewzer has been with us since he was 10 weeks old. He is supposed to be Son's dog. Son and his girlfriend of 4 years. In fact, there was 2 year period when Brewzer, Son and Girlfriend had their own digs. During this period, we kind of had joint custody... Brewz came and spent many weekends at our house and I think he never lost his sense of home there. When Son and Girlfriend decided that each would move back to their parental units in order to save some cash, both Son and dog came back home. I was glad to have the dog... Son was another story, but that's a different blog.

The timing for the dog to move back home was perfect for me from an maternal and emotional perspective. Girly was getting into the preteens and didn't need or want a mommy anymore. I grieved for my lost mommydom. When Son started that phase I had a new baby to replace those mommy needs. This time nothing...Serious nurturing mommy withdrawal.... I started to consider what my options were....God forbid, not another pregnancy...That's physically impossible at this point (hysterectomy in 97) but even at that I'm plenty smart enough to know the older you are the harder it is on your old body. Different options crossed my mind. Foreign adoption of an older child, somewhere between 3 and 8. I considered foster parenting. When I seriously brought these thoughts up to Vito, he began the paperwork process of having me committed. (Not really, but the look on his face was priceless)... I told him of my feelings and how I was missing having that mommy kind of feeling. I finally said, "Look, I'm very serious..I either want to explore to see if we should consider adoption or foster parenting. Or I want to get another dog. "

His response was pretty simple " Well, lucky for me, (meaning himself) I don't have a hankerin' for either one. "

Next thing I know Son is asking if he and Brewzer can come back home. Of course, we couldn't say no. So they bounded back to the homestead. I've come to realize that our big lugnut dog fills my mommy needs. And the bonus is that it doesn't come with the whole parenting package!!!!

I'll bet money that someone out there, (if anyone is even reading) will get on their high horse and chastise me for comparing motherdom to dog mommydom. That's all right. It's just my personal nurturing need that wasn't getting fulfilled. Having a loving and lovable dog who follows me all over the house fills that need.

Recently, Son and Girlfriend have found a house that they want to buy. (Yippee!!!) I pretty much told him not to let the door hit him on the way out.. Not that he's all that much trouble, but after not living at home for two years, it has been a big adjustment for all of us. With Vito, Girly and me, we had 3 functional floors in our house and three functional people. Pretty proportional, huh? But then I told Son there was no way he is taking the dog. We went round and round and sure 'nough they are taking the dog back with them. I am panicky. So is Vito and Girly. What will we do?

So I hit up the Rescue Organizations. I found a dog. He is a 3 year old Shar Pei. He's so ugly he's cute. He's not wrinkley all over...mostly on his face. We met him at the organization's adoptathon. Girly and I were smitten. Tried to get Vito to take a gander at him, but he's in doggy denial. I don't know anything about Shar Pei s except what I've found on the internet. This particular dog is very well behaved (not a barky dog), already fixed, crate trained, very affectionate and most of all, very babyish. He's not as big as a boxer, shorter and stockier.

My natural state of cynicism is scared doggy baby is too good to be true. So I'm asking for some feedback. Does anyone have experience with this breed? I'd hate to think his persona is all a farce and as soon as he has us in his clutches he'll turn into Cujo. Any personal knowledge or experience would be extremely appreciated.

Birthdays and Mortality Musings

Yesterday was my husband's birthday. Sometimes I'm absolutely horrified by how old we are.

It was Number Five-One for him. Holy Crap. Last year, the Big Five-O was kind of a novelty for us. I thru him a huge birthday party with about 100 people invited. He was surprised, pleased and we all had a great time. The reality of his age just didn't sink in..For crap sake, we just saw the Rolling Stones last month. They're old, not us. By all rights, Keith Richards should be dead. You could shoot embalming fluid thru his veins and he'd probably whoop it up and ask for more.

Mind you, Husband (I've decided to refer to him as Vito) is older than me (by about 5 years so you do the math). But we've been together since my early 20's and his late 20's. Most of the time, neither of us feel anything has changed or think of each other any differently...but when you think about it, our changes have been so subtle, we just don't notice. We're not the same people, not only physically, but intellectually and emotionally. And a lot of time we don't recognize those changes in each other. This is both good and bad. We need to find all the good and nix the bad.

This past year, Vito has been getting stuff in the mail from AARP. In the beginning I teased him about it and made fun. HAR, HAR.... But I've come to realize that it kind of bothers him. His sense of mortality is kicking in...I guess I should be sensitive to that. See, his dad died in his mid fifties of cancer, as his grandads, all of his paternal uncles and one maternal uncle. Get the picture from his point of view. I used to ignore him when he would start his mortality pity party.
Vito (general statement): "Well, I don't have to worry about gettin' old because I'm probably going to die soon after I turn 50 anyway."

His Loving Wife: "Well, you can't. You don't have enough life insurance and I ain't raising these kids by myself." or
"Don't go kickin' the bucket before I'm financially set for life."

Get the picture from my point of view. It just seems so pessimistic (which he has a flair for anyway) and far fetched.

But now, I guess it really isn't. In the past couple of years, Vito has been diagnosed with onset adult diabetes and he's now somewhat lactose intolerant. How in the hell is this Italian guy supposed to eat? He has mozzarella and meat sauce running thru his entire body. He takes several medications for both and we really try to watch his diet.

From my own end, some years ago when Son was going through the Terrible Teens, my family physician started me on a mild antidepressant. Very low dosage but I truly believe this is one of the prime things that kept me from ending up in a rubber walled room. Now that he's a normal human, I have our Girly Girl entering the onset of puberty. I double dare Dr. to take me off the meds. Soon after the antidepressant, Dr. started me on blood pressure meds. That little guage thing insinuated I had chronic HBP. I tried to tell him that no one in my family has ever had hypertension. His glib response was "Well, someone does now...". How empathetic.

So now, the two people who have rocked and rolled all their life, Vegased with the best of 'em and clubbed till dawn each have their very own Longenberger basket full of meds in the kitchen cabinet. Expensive meds containers.

Son summed it up some months ago when he opened the kitchen cabinet for Tylenol or something. He looked inside and then at me saying, "Geez mom, you and dad have really turned into a couple of geriatrics..."

Thank You. Thank You Very Much. Elvis Has Left The Building.

I guess we should have seen mid life mess coming. We have friends who are already at or have been at the crisis point.

One friend of Vito's who had been divorced for many years married a 30 year old blond siren. He is older than Vito by by a year. If the stars had been aligned in the right way, his new wife could have been the fruit of his loins. I remember Vito's comment when Big Al told him about his new girlfriend. "Good Gawd, Alan.... I have underwear older than her." Not that the average age of Vito's underwear is something to be proud of, but it defines our immediate reaction to the romance. Alan's daughter from his first marriage is 23 or 24, but my guess is that she'll have a sibling here in the next couple of years.

My brother in law went out and bought a Harley. After he bought it, he decided the one he bought was a Sissy Harley, so he sold it and bought a bigger Manly Harley. My sister in law didn't fight with him over it. She just told him to take out a supplemental policy as he refuses to wear a helmet most of the time. He's on suicide watch.

Another long time friend did the same thing. He and his wife have been together since she was 14 and he 19. (Yes, really) In their early days they followed each other across the country.. Louisville to Houston, to New Orleans, to New Jersey to Louisville. Their boys are in high school, he's 48 and fast approaching his 25th wedding anniversary... What to do? Of course, time to buy a big, fast cycle!!! Not a Schwinn, but one of those nifty ones with all the sleek lines and sporty helmets. At least he wears a helmet.. but he is a nurse practitioner who has worked in the trauma unit. Seen enough of everyone elses blood, doesn't care to see his own.

One friend had an affair after he and his wife had been married 15 years or so. They also had been together since high school. They separated for some time. Everyone was upset because they had always appeared so stable. By the grace of God and a ton of effort on their part, they worked thru it. Since then, they have produced two beautiful children and life seems good. I applaud them because infidelity is a huge hurdle for me.

I'm not picking on how people deal with this middle age or post middle age thing. Vito is just now going thru the brunt of it. Since we just toured the Gibson Guitar Factory earlier this month on a mini vacation to Memphis/Tunica, I look to come home one day and find a custom made $20K Stratesphere (or another one of them there fancy guitars) in my livingroom along with a brand new home equity line of credit to pay for it. Lord knows how I'm going to deal with it for myself. Become Mrs. Robinson? Not a bad idea. Dustin Hoffman was pretty cute in that movie. But wait......Now HE'S OLD TOO!!! SHI*T. Up the meds, I guess.

But for now, I guess we'll just keep track of our kids, our health and our home while scoping out the best live music venues.

Ciao, Baby.

Blogging Virgin

Yes, this the first time for me. I'm new to the Blog World. I know, I know....Always a day late and a dollar short. I really don't know why I'm doing this, other than I have been reading other blogs on various subjects and thought why not? Not only do I not know how to work the multiple MP3 Players in our house, I really have no idea how to work the IPod. Where does that put me? What's my 2 cents worth? Probably less than 2 cents.....

I really don't know how to start.....Should I voice my political opinions? My position on marriage? My position on parenting? What about my religious views? Geez Louize, I just don't know what to say.

So...I guess I'll start with my immediate family. There's my husband. Been married for over 20 years. He's the grandson of Italian immigrants who settled in Cambridge, MA. Very autocratic guy, at least in his mind. I've learned how to work him over the years. He is my hero. For all his faults, I know that there is no one in this world more protective and defensive of me and our kids. Yes, he has an explosive temper (he yells a lot), he's a know it all (although I know he doesn't)....I give him the benefit of the doubt. His goal in life is to provide as best he can for his family.. and he has. We have a lovely home, our kids have had every opportunity for private educations and we live virtually debt free. He loves his kids and his family with a vengeance. Although I have a career utilizing an advanced degree, we have always lived off of his salary as a sales rep. We've grown on each other over the years to the point where I don't think either of us can do without the other. He's my hero and I am his. I know this.

My oldest is my son. He is soon to be 23. He is a child of my heart for many reasons. I won't go into everything at this point. He is special in many ways. Always has beeen sensitive and emotionally in tune. On my side of the family he holds a very unique place. He is named for his grandpa (my dad). He is the only son my dad had from birth. His beginning in life was a great moment for my side of the family. Over the years he has given me the greatest joy of my life, but also my greatest heartache. As I watch him now, emerging as a responsible adult with a future, I am so proud. He is my heart.

My youngest is my daughter. The child my husband and I never thought would happen.

We waited for her and had given up...content with our boy and the fact that under the circumstances we would be just fine. But fate and a snowstorm in 1994 intervened. We had always intended to add to our family. When our son was 3, we gave up on the BC and assumed nature would take its course. It didn't. We waited. It preyed on me. I wanted another child. The perfect family of 4. We pursued fertility from a very rudimentary perspective. Both went thru testing, nothing really wrong. I may have gone further, but my husband felt strongly that if it was supposed to happen it would. Put our faith in God. (yes, we do believe) Lo and Behold, in the winter of 94, one month after my dad died of cancer I came up pregnant. We had no clue. I felt so icky. When I told husband that the last time I felt like this I was pregnant, he responded with "No way..You can't be pregnant. It's been 7 years. It's a tumor or something." What a guy. The tumor weighed in at 7 1/2 lbs and 20 inches long on 10/27/94. I wouldn't trade her for anything. She has three parents--her dad, mom and her brother. She is my best friend (most of the time considering her pubescent state) and she is my heart.

We have a dog. An overweight boxer named Brewzer. We had never owned a dog and had no desire to do so. But one day when my son was 19 he called home . "Mom! I just bought a dog. I'm bringing him home tonight." Dog? What kind? How big? "He's a Boxer pup... Don't worry, he's a miniature". I found out later there is no such thing as a miniature Boxer. He now weighs damn near 90 lbs. He is also a huge baby who is attached at hubby's hip. An extremely overweight toddler. We love him.

Myself - Don't know what to say. My life focuses around my kids, my home and my husband.. In that order. I work outside the home for a quasi-govermental utility. I love where I work. Been there 21 years. The agency paid my way thru undergraduate and graduate school. I owe it big time. I like what I do. I'm a woman working in a man's world but those fellas usually listen to me. I treat them like my husband and kids. I holler and carry on when I need. I'm not afarid to say what's on my mind. It's kinda like being old... Been there so long I've earned the right to speak my mind...and I do. I can retire in 07 with 22 years. Don't know if I will or not. Still got a kid in private school with 6 years to go, so it's highly unlikely. Especially if you ask my husband.

I think I've come up with enough for now. My thought in starting this is that it would provide some theraputic venting. Kind of a cleansing of the soul. I haven't even touched the surface yet. I guess it really won't matter if anyone reads or not. It will still do my brain some good.