Birthdays and Mortality Musings
Yesterday was my husband's birthday. Sometimes I'm absolutely horrified by how old we are.
It was Number Five-One for him. Holy Crap. Last year, the Big Five-O was kind of a novelty for us. I thru him a huge birthday party with about 100 people invited. He was surprised, pleased and we all had a great time. The reality of his age just didn't sink in..For crap sake, we just saw the Rolling Stones last month. They're old, not us. By all rights, Keith Richards should be dead. You could shoot embalming fluid thru his veins and he'd probably whoop it up and ask for more.
Mind you, Husband (I've decided to refer to him as Vito) is older than me (by about 5 years so you do the math). But we've been together since my early 20's and his late 20's. Most of the time, neither of us feel anything has changed or think of each other any differently...but when you think about it, our changes have been so subtle, we just don't notice. We're not the same people, not only physically, but intellectually and emotionally. And a lot of time we don't recognize those changes in each other. This is both good and bad. We need to find all the good and nix the bad.
This past year, Vito has been getting stuff in the mail from AARP. In the beginning I teased him about it and made fun. HAR, HAR.... But I've come to realize that it kind of bothers him. His sense of mortality is kicking in...I guess I should be sensitive to that. See, his dad died in his mid fifties of cancer, as his grandads, all of his paternal uncles and one maternal uncle. Get the picture from his point of view. I used to ignore him when he would start his mortality pity party.
Vito (general statement): "Well, I don't have to worry about gettin' old because I'm probably going to die soon after I turn 50 anyway."
His Loving Wife: "Well, you can't. You don't have enough life insurance and I ain't raising these kids by myself." or
"Don't go kickin' the bucket before I'm financially set for life."
Get the picture from my point of view. It just seems so pessimistic (which he has a flair for anyway) and far fetched.
But now, I guess it really isn't. In the past couple of years, Vito has been diagnosed with onset adult diabetes and he's now somewhat lactose intolerant. How in the hell is this Italian guy supposed to eat? He has mozzarella and meat sauce running thru his entire body. He takes several medications for both and we really try to watch his diet.
From my own end, some years ago when Son was going through the Terrible Teens, my family physician started me on a mild antidepressant. Very low dosage but I truly believe this is one of the prime things that kept me from ending up in a rubber walled room. Now that he's a normal human, I have our Girly Girl entering the onset of puberty. I double dare Dr. to take me off the meds. Soon after the antidepressant, Dr. started me on blood pressure meds. That little guage thing insinuated I had chronic HBP. I tried to tell him that no one in my family has ever had hypertension. His glib response was "Well, someone does now...". How empathetic.
So now, the two people who have rocked and rolled all their life, Vegased with the best of 'em and clubbed till dawn each have their very own Longenberger basket full of meds in the kitchen cabinet. Expensive meds containers.
Son summed it up some months ago when he opened the kitchen cabinet for Tylenol or something. He looked inside and then at me saying, "Geez mom, you and dad have really turned into a couple of geriatrics..."
Thank You. Thank You Very Much. Elvis Has Left The Building.
I guess we should have seen mid life mess coming. We have friends who are already at or have been at the crisis point.
One friend of Vito's who had been divorced for many years married a 30 year old blond siren. He is older than Vito by by a year. If the stars had been aligned in the right way, his new wife could have been the fruit of his loins. I remember Vito's comment when Big Al told him about his new girlfriend. "Good Gawd, Alan.... I have underwear older than her." Not that the average age of Vito's underwear is something to be proud of, but it defines our immediate reaction to the romance. Alan's daughter from his first marriage is 23 or 24, but my guess is that she'll have a sibling here in the next couple of years.
My brother in law went out and bought a Harley. After he bought it, he decided the one he bought was a Sissy Harley, so he sold it and bought a bigger Manly Harley. My sister in law didn't fight with him over it. She just told him to take out a supplemental policy as he refuses to wear a helmet most of the time. He's on suicide watch.
Another long time friend did the same thing. He and his wife have been together since she was 14 and he 19. (Yes, really) In their early days they followed each other across the country.. Louisville to Houston, to New Orleans, to New Jersey to Louisville. Their boys are in high school, he's 48 and fast approaching his 25th wedding anniversary... What to do? Of course, time to buy a big, fast cycle!!! Not a Schwinn, but one of those nifty ones with all the sleek lines and sporty helmets. At least he wears a helmet.. but he is a nurse practitioner who has worked in the trauma unit. Seen enough of everyone elses blood, doesn't care to see his own.
One friend had an affair after he and his wife had been married 15 years or so. They also had been together since high school. They separated for some time. Everyone was upset because they had always appeared so stable. By the grace of God and a ton of effort on their part, they worked thru it. Since then, they have produced two beautiful children and life seems good. I applaud them because infidelity is a huge hurdle for me.
I'm not picking on how people deal with this middle age or post middle age thing. Vito is just now going thru the brunt of it. Since we just toured the Gibson Guitar Factory earlier this month on a mini vacation to Memphis/Tunica, I look to come home one day and find a custom made $20K Stratesphere (or another one of them there fancy guitars) in my livingroom along with a brand new home equity line of credit to pay for it. Lord knows how I'm going to deal with it for myself. Become Mrs. Robinson? Not a bad idea. Dustin Hoffman was pretty cute in that movie. But wait......Now HE'S OLD TOO!!! SHI*T. Up the meds, I guess.
But for now, I guess we'll just keep track of our kids, our health and our home while scoping out the best live music venues.
Ciao, Baby.
Yesterday was my husband's birthday. Sometimes I'm absolutely horrified by how old we are.
It was Number Five-One for him. Holy Crap. Last year, the Big Five-O was kind of a novelty for us. I thru him a huge birthday party with about 100 people invited. He was surprised, pleased and we all had a great time. The reality of his age just didn't sink in..For crap sake, we just saw the Rolling Stones last month. They're old, not us. By all rights, Keith Richards should be dead. You could shoot embalming fluid thru his veins and he'd probably whoop it up and ask for more.
Mind you, Husband (I've decided to refer to him as Vito) is older than me (by about 5 years so you do the math). But we've been together since my early 20's and his late 20's. Most of the time, neither of us feel anything has changed or think of each other any differently...but when you think about it, our changes have been so subtle, we just don't notice. We're not the same people, not only physically, but intellectually and emotionally. And a lot of time we don't recognize those changes in each other. This is both good and bad. We need to find all the good and nix the bad.
This past year, Vito has been getting stuff in the mail from AARP. In the beginning I teased him about it and made fun. HAR, HAR.... But I've come to realize that it kind of bothers him. His sense of mortality is kicking in...I guess I should be sensitive to that. See, his dad died in his mid fifties of cancer, as his grandads, all of his paternal uncles and one maternal uncle. Get the picture from his point of view. I used to ignore him when he would start his mortality pity party.
Vito (general statement): "Well, I don't have to worry about gettin' old because I'm probably going to die soon after I turn 50 anyway."
His Loving Wife: "Well, you can't. You don't have enough life insurance and I ain't raising these kids by myself." or
"Don't go kickin' the bucket before I'm financially set for life."
Get the picture from my point of view. It just seems so pessimistic (which he has a flair for anyway) and far fetched.
But now, I guess it really isn't. In the past couple of years, Vito has been diagnosed with onset adult diabetes and he's now somewhat lactose intolerant. How in the hell is this Italian guy supposed to eat? He has mozzarella and meat sauce running thru his entire body. He takes several medications for both and we really try to watch his diet.
From my own end, some years ago when Son was going through the Terrible Teens, my family physician started me on a mild antidepressant. Very low dosage but I truly believe this is one of the prime things that kept me from ending up in a rubber walled room. Now that he's a normal human, I have our Girly Girl entering the onset of puberty. I double dare Dr. to take me off the meds. Soon after the antidepressant, Dr. started me on blood pressure meds. That little guage thing insinuated I had chronic HBP. I tried to tell him that no one in my family has ever had hypertension. His glib response was "Well, someone does now...". How empathetic.
So now, the two people who have rocked and rolled all their life, Vegased with the best of 'em and clubbed till dawn each have their very own Longenberger basket full of meds in the kitchen cabinet. Expensive meds containers.
Son summed it up some months ago when he opened the kitchen cabinet for Tylenol or something. He looked inside and then at me saying, "Geez mom, you and dad have really turned into a couple of geriatrics..."
Thank You. Thank You Very Much. Elvis Has Left The Building.
I guess we should have seen mid life mess coming. We have friends who are already at or have been at the crisis point.
One friend of Vito's who had been divorced for many years married a 30 year old blond siren. He is older than Vito by by a year. If the stars had been aligned in the right way, his new wife could have been the fruit of his loins. I remember Vito's comment when Big Al told him about his new girlfriend. "Good Gawd, Alan.... I have underwear older than her." Not that the average age of Vito's underwear is something to be proud of, but it defines our immediate reaction to the romance. Alan's daughter from his first marriage is 23 or 24, but my guess is that she'll have a sibling here in the next couple of years.
My brother in law went out and bought a Harley. After he bought it, he decided the one he bought was a Sissy Harley, so he sold it and bought a bigger Manly Harley. My sister in law didn't fight with him over it. She just told him to take out a supplemental policy as he refuses to wear a helmet most of the time. He's on suicide watch.
Another long time friend did the same thing. He and his wife have been together since she was 14 and he 19. (Yes, really) In their early days they followed each other across the country.. Louisville to Houston, to New Orleans, to New Jersey to Louisville. Their boys are in high school, he's 48 and fast approaching his 25th wedding anniversary... What to do? Of course, time to buy a big, fast cycle!!! Not a Schwinn, but one of those nifty ones with all the sleek lines and sporty helmets. At least he wears a helmet.. but he is a nurse practitioner who has worked in the trauma unit. Seen enough of everyone elses blood, doesn't care to see his own.
One friend had an affair after he and his wife had been married 15 years or so. They also had been together since high school. They separated for some time. Everyone was upset because they had always appeared so stable. By the grace of God and a ton of effort on their part, they worked thru it. Since then, they have produced two beautiful children and life seems good. I applaud them because infidelity is a huge hurdle for me.
I'm not picking on how people deal with this middle age or post middle age thing. Vito is just now going thru the brunt of it. Since we just toured the Gibson Guitar Factory earlier this month on a mini vacation to Memphis/Tunica, I look to come home one day and find a custom made $20K Stratesphere (or another one of them there fancy guitars) in my livingroom along with a brand new home equity line of credit to pay for it. Lord knows how I'm going to deal with it for myself. Become Mrs. Robinson? Not a bad idea. Dustin Hoffman was pretty cute in that movie. But wait......Now HE'S OLD TOO!!! SHI*T. Up the meds, I guess.
But for now, I guess we'll just keep track of our kids, our health and our home while scoping out the best live music venues.
Ciao, Baby.
posted by Teri at 6:50 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home