Goodbye Old Paint.......

Husband and I are not what you would call "Vehicle Snobs". We're not one of those couples whose mode of transportation depicts their social stature. I know people like that and more power to them... My priorities are different... Food, shelter, a satisfactory debt ratio and my children's education come first.

For us, vehicles are practical, functional, quickly depreciating assets which serve a prime purpose in our daily professional and personal life. Once fully depreciated all you have left is practical and functional so we make damn sure we get a lot of bang for our bucks.

As a sales rep for a wholesale distributor, Husband's vehicle is his business vehicle. His mobile office, so to speak.. He gets mileage and expense reimbursement and we get a decent, much needed tax write off. Company literally pays for the car and then some. So, once a car is paid for, the longer he drives it, the better off we are.

Thus, our recent predicament.

Husband's car was a 1994 Corolla with 300,000 miles. (Yes, really 300,000 miles). He bought it new in '94 and it's had a long, productive but rough life. The air conditioning is out, the heat is out, most of the power windows don't work along with a multitude of minor mechanical and major cosmetic issues (the paint is gone). But like the Energizer Bunny, it just keeps going and going.... I quit driving it a long time ago. Girly refuses to be transported to any friend's home or social function in it. We tried to give it to Son at one point when he was having car troubles, but he respectfully declined. It is a neighborhood eyesore.

At one time, husband swore his head contained a rock magnet....because rocks were forever flying up from various highways and dinging the windshield, headlights, paint etc. He never had them fixed.

Later, he claimed that he had an old folk magnet planted in his head as senior citizens kept bashing him. One old woman literally backed right over him with her farm size diesel pick up. Another old guy nailed him because he was disoriented from not taking his morning medication. Bless their hearts, we really felt sorry for them....but we cashed their insurance checks anyway. Once again, at the time due to the car's age, Husband chose not to have the body work done. (I think this is about the time I quit driving it). He just went out to the car with a rubber mallet, pounded out the dents as best he could and continued on his soft drink sellin' way.

This past summer, as he was performing his religious oil change and quarterly cleanup, Son walked up and examined the car.


"Hey Dad, is that a new dent in that door?"


Dad walks over and examines the dent for familiarity....


"No Son, it's the same dent....It just shows up more when the car is clean."


We had been discussing replacing the old car for several months, but he kept putting it off. I think after all these years, he had formed a deep emotional bond. But finally, the prospect of spending an unpredictable Kentucky winter in it got the best of him....

After much discussion, it was decided that he would take my paid off '03 Camry and we would buy a new "family" car.

Whooooheeee!!! What this means is that I get a new car!!! I don't drive much... my route to my office is barely a five mile trip... I toodle around town but don't do a lot of serious road travel. In fact, my Camry barely has 36,000 miles.

For him, taking the Camry was like hitting the lottery. He was totally unaccustomed to such luxury. The day before his first day driving it, he went thru his CD collection, packing several cases with favorites and lovingly placed them in his new mobile office. He sat in the driver's seat, playing with all the windows.....up....down....up....down...He opened the sunroof and let the light shine in..

I felt a little guilty.....But then I got over it...Went and climbed into my brand new Highlander (yes, we are a poster family for Toyota) and sped off to the Kroger. Couldn't wait to open that hatch and load in my groceries. I can't help but feel twinges of materialism creep up when I drive it. I feel like the epitome of upscale middle class.....

Remember that scene at the end of "Cats" where the old cat female cat (can't remember her name) is lifted up into kitty-cat heaven? I feel that should happen with the poor old Corolla. But alas, it's not to be...Some poor schmuck is actually going to buy it from us.....For $400.....We should pay him $400 to haul it away...

So....goodbye Old Paint......it's been nice knowin' ya, but Mom and Dad have "pimped their rides"....