Bluegrass Musings

Introducing......

2007-07-18T11:08:00.001-07:00

Reagen Nicole.

07/12/07, 12:59 PM

8 lbs. 11 ozs.

What a porker!! I cannot fathom where all that baby was in the momma's skinny body...

Poor DIL2B ended up with a C-section after about 10 hours. Labor went great, everything progressed nicely, but in the end, Ms. Reagen's head would not come thru. DIL2B apparently has some sort of funky tailbone and it wouldn't give or break to let her come thru. RaeGae spent many hours stuck in the birth canal and her head was actually crowning when the C-Section was decided. She couldn't get past DIL2B's tailbone. Too weird.

She had the ultimate conehead.

But it's gone down. And RaeGae is doing great. She's been home 2 days now and is doing everything exactly as she supposed to. Including keeping everyone awake.

Let me see if I can fill you in on her routine.

Step 1. Cry.

Step 2. Scream.

Step 3. Eat.

Step 4. Pee and Poop.

Step 5. Sleep a little, but not enough to give mom and dad a decent rest.

Step. 6. Repeat from Step 1, 24/7.

But it's still great.

Sincerely,

The Mother of the Baby's Dad

(In other words, Not The Grandma)

Stressed Out

2007-06-19T05:12:00.000-07:00

This Momma is stressed out.

DIL2B is at 2 centimeters at 36 weeks. Her doctor took her off of the Procardia yesterday, so I guess she can go anytime. We are still planning a baby shower this weekend. Maybe she'll be there and maybe she won't. Hell, if she's having the baby at that time, it's likely that I won't be there either! You just never know with these things. She could stick like this for weeks. So we're kinda on pins and needles.

Husband had his super Parish Picnic Saturday. It was a huge success. And a huge time and effort investment on our part. Both of us took off work all week just to prepare. Husband was literally up there 24/7. Hard work for everyone involved. And there were a lot of people who really put their hearts into it. I sure hope everyone gets the recognition they deserve.

Now I'm paying for tagging Sara! She tagged me. The gist is to reveal 4 new things you've learned or experienced in the past 4 years and then to name 4 new things you want to achieve, try or accomplish in the next 4 years.

So here it goes..

4 Things for the Next 4 years.

Number 1 - Retire. June of next year is my slated early retirement date. I will leave gov't service with 23 active years. It's been a fine ride but I want to go do something else for a while.

Number 2 - Start a new career. Something part time that pays like full time. Doesn't everybody want something like that? If anyone knows the career path for this, let me know.

Number 3 - Get involved in foster parenting, or Big Brothers/Big Sisters. Something along those lines. It breaks my heart to see or hear about neglected kids who have no positive direction or advantage in their lives. Children don't ask to be brought into this world, they are innocents.

Number 4 - Gut my kitchen and back end of my house or travel a lot more. I'll have to choose which one. Unless I hit the lottery, I won't have the money to do both.

Now for the other side of the coin. 4 things I've figured out in the last 4 years.

Number 1 - Having a preteen daughter is both a trial and a blessing. I've always heard that raising a boy is very different from raising a girl. They weren't kidding. Hormones, drama, hysterics......Then at the same time we can have a really good time together. Peaks and valleys... But, man...those valleys can get deep. She's my daughter and my best friend.

Number 2 - I'm realizing I did a pretty decent job of raising my first child. Many times over the years I have questioned whether I have been a good parent. But, amazingly, he's turned out pretty darn good. He makes me proud.

Number 3 - I have come to realize that I'm aging. OH NO! This is not supposed to happen. I was talking to someone the other day about my upcoming birthday and totally got my age all wrong. I was counting myself a couple of years younger than I am! When I realized I had it all wrong and what my actual age will be next month, I was really taken aback. Aii Yii Yii...

Number 4 - I need to take more time for myself. Over the years, I've let my hobbies slack off and the things I like to do. So I started crocheting again. Also, I like to garden and cook. So I've been taking a few classes here and there, when I see something interesting. I let myself get stagnant there for a while and that's not good.

So there.... I'll have to think on who to tag next... My brain is still fuzzy.

The Waiting Game

2007-06-11T16:16:00.000-07:00

We are waiting.

DIL2B went to the doctor this morning and she was 2 centimeters and 80 % effaced. I guess she could go anytime but we are hoping for another week or two. Her OB-GYN guessed Miss Reagen to be about 5 lbs.

It's so funny, because around Easter time, DIL2B said at family dinner that she didn't want a scrawny baby... she wanted a good 8 pounder. All of us veteran moms sat around snickering. Sure, go ahead, push that 8 pounder out, honey....Well, now I am praying we get another pound or so on Reagen in the next week or two.

DIL2B is doing good. She is doing everything she's told to do. She looks like she is carrying a very low bowling ball. I can remember feeling like that. Son is taking care of everything. Her every wish is his command. I am so proud of the way he's turned out.

Thanks to my internet buds who have kept us in their thoughts. I so appreciate the fact that individuals who have never met us, are thinking of our situation.

Believe me, you are in my thoughts and prayers . I think of you guys often. And am anxiously awaiting your own children.....

Sara, you better put that poncho on that child!

Cease and Desist Order

2007-06-05T08:59:00.000-07:00

Even if no one has missed me, I feel the need to vent regarding my recent silence on th Web.

In the last week we have made 3 hospital trips with DIL2B. She started having contractionss last week at 32 weeks along. She's on bedrest and has had 3 sets of shots Breathine to slow/stop the contractions. She is also on an oral med (Procardia) every 4 hours that's supposed to hold off the contractions. It's all helping, but it's not going away.

The first time we went to the hospital she was told her she was definitely having contractions and her cervix was starting to "soften". Not too bad if they can stop it.

But she was at her OBGYN yesterday morning and had started to dialate. Not good. Later that afternoon, she started with full blown contractions. DIL2B was in tears, Son was on a UPS delivery truck miles away and her mother and I were nervous wrecks. So we packed her up and took her to the hospital again. More shots of Breathine and an increase in the oral med.

L&D nurse and OBGYN both feel that the exam in the morning stirred up the contractions again.

She will be 33 weeks this Thursday and I am worried sick. Son is a bundle of nerves and DIL2B is scared to death. This is just such a reality check for me. I just wish I could fix it all for them. No matter how old your kids are, the instinct to fix or save them from any trauma never goes away. And recently, since we have really been getting ready for the baby to come, I am more and more excited. We've had two baby showers and have another one planned for the end of the month. SIL#1 and I don't know if the Mom and the Baby will be there, but we're still planning it.

DIL2B's OBGYN wants to hold her off for another 2-3 weeks. Dr. feels like DIL2B is fine and the baby is doing fine too. It's DIL2B's uterus that's not cooperating.

SO HEAR THIS, I AM OFFICIALLY EXECUTING A "CEASE AND DESIST ORDER" TO DIL2B's UTERUS.

QUIT WITH THE CONTRACTIONS ALREADY! OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY FROM THIS EXPECTANT GRANDPARENT!

Here are some pics from the first shower.

The is Son and DIL2B before Son skipped out on the hen party.

They're kinda blurry, but you can see that they are a fine looking couple.

I love them both so much..

Here's DIL2B holding up our girl's first UofL Cardinal's cheerleading uniform. She'll be going to the ball games with the rest of the family!

Here she is again opening more loot.

DIL2B has always been a tall drink of water at 5'7" and 120 lbs. Now she just looks like she swallowed a watermelon.

She is so cute pregnant!

So, if anyone is out there, please keep my big kids in your thoughts. And if you have any left after that, hold on to a few for the very penitent paternal grandparent.

Pic-A-Nick

2007-05-22T08:30:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned before that we're Catholic. It's more tradition than a Faith with us. I won't go deep into our position with the Catholic Church because it would get messy.

But we both grew up with the practice of Catholism and were educated in the school system. I myself went thru Catholic Colleges for both undergrad and graduate school. Our children are educated thru the parochial and the archdioscese education system.

So we've lived in our neighborhood for 20 years and have belonged to the neighborhood Catholic parish during all this time. We've always been active in the parish, primarily because of the school. Because of the discrepancy in our children's ages (24 & 12), we've have a kid in school there for 15 consecutive years. Without a break. That's 15 years of tuition folks. Of course we're going to do everything we can to keep down the costs.

This year, Husband is the annual church picnic chairman. For those of you unfamiliar...shame, shame. Nothing like a Catholic Church Picnic. Beer drinkin', gamblin', prize booths, fried chicken, fish and bratwurst... Mmmmm... Gambling isn't a sin if you're doing it for a charitable cause...like the church.. And since so many Catholics are of Irish, German and Italian descent, you surely can't rule out drinking. This is the place to be in the summer. On some parochial grade school grounds catching up with your neighbors, family, people you haven't seen in years, people you went to grade school and high school with... Typically, a Church's picnic is the biggest annual fundraiser for a parish. So you're drinkin' and gamblin' for a good cause.

It started out simple enough. Years ago Husband started out helping because Son's basketball coach was Chairperson. Within a few years he found himself running one of the popular gambling booths. He did a good job and kept doing it for a couple of years. Before you knew it, he was knighted as Gaming Chairman. Head of all gambling. I guess they figured since he was Italian and Catholic, it was a natural transgression, kinda like Al Pacino in The Godfather. He'll make you "an offer you can't refuse".

He held that position for a couple more years. Then the most recent picnic chair couple had to resign for personal reasons. No one stepped forward. Once again, before he knew it, he was asked to be Picnic King. He pondered it a while... asked if that meant he got his own walkie-talkie and golf cart and when powers that be said "sure thing" he readily accepted. What a schmuck.

As Picnic Czar, he is responsible for everything no one else feels like messing with.. It's hard work. There's way more to it than either of us thought. And it's a thankless job. It's one of the jobs where you just can't please everyone all the time. Don't let anyone ever tell you that politics and religion have nothing in common. Not sure which one spawned the other, but they're definitely closely related. Everyone vying for their interests. And you don't get much help or cooperation. There are so many people who figure that if they pay their money for tuition and tithe to the church then they don't need or want to do anything else. Some people don't see both sides of the coin. It's events like this, organized and managed by the church/school families that keep those costs down. I know the cost is still high, but every little bit helps.

Now all while he's Picnic King, let's remember that I am on our school's board as well as the athletic board. So right now, all of our spare time, (except when I'm blogging) is spent at church/school. We've rescheduled our annual June vacation because of this. No wonder we don't go to church every Sunday! We're there all the time anyway!

So this blog is dedicated to Nick, my husband.. who is selflessly giving all of his time, effort, muscle and smarts to church until mid-June. And is ready to pull all of his thick Italian hair out.. Someone should recognize this and I figure it might as well be me.

But Melinda??

2007-05-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

I was surprised Melinda was voted out last night. MSNBC says that she was too good. Voters began to think of her as a professional rather than amateur.

I'm not so sure about that. What I think is that her being voted off says a lot about who's really doing the voting. All three finalists have their own niche. But let's face it, Blake and Jordin are more appealing to the young set of viewers and I'll bet that's who doing the majority of the voting. Kids have nothing but time on their hands. Besides, being the technical idiot that I am, I don't even know how to text message. Duhhh.

Blake is my personal favorite and well as Girly's. He's just as cute and as bug in a rug. He really has stage persona.

I've Been Tagged..

2007-05-16T06:46:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it. I've been tagged by D, formerly known as .hohndel.org/randomthoughts/. It surprised me because I really don't fit in with his crowd. But I love to read his blog. He and his wife have the cutest set of twins! He is constantly telling of their antics and posting the resulting pictures. It gives me a lot of joy to read his honest account of their journey thru parenthood. By tagging me he's either telling me he likes me or he's trying to chase me off. Mmmmm.....

The gist of the tag is to list 7 things about yourself that few people are aware of. I had to be selective about this... There's a lot of skeletons in my personal closet. I don't want to give the impression that I'm a total whackjob.

So here it goes..

1. I have a weird way of reading the newspaper. I start reading all the articles on the front page which interest me. Then flip thru the section page by page, continuing and finishing each article I started as I come across them. It just seems more practical than flipping back and forth.. Don't mess with my system, it'll throw my entire equilibrium off as well as put me in a bad mood.

2. I've never had stitches (except as a result of surgery or birthing babies) and have never broken a bone. I guess I was a couch potato even as a kid.

3. Too much wine makes me mean and makes me puke. Hard liquor too, although I can do my share of Bloody Marys. Husband has banned me from drinking wine at social functions. I'm already sarcastic enough, no enhancements are necessary.

4. I am a salt 'ho. I like extra salt on everything. I put extra salt on my fries and salt in my ketchup. No wonder I have to take blood pressure medication.

5. I'm very superstituous. You know, "step on a crack, break your mama's back".. So far, my mother has retained her spine... thanks to me.

6. Husband married me because I'm hot. On our first date we went to a college basketball game. I ordered some nachos and asked for extra jalepenos. He says he knew right then and there I was the gal for him. We have 11 different pepper plants in our garden this year. I LOVE hot and spicy food. Make me sweat, baby. Probably why I had to have my gall bladder removed 5 years ago.

7. Last but not least...I am really not ready to be a grandma. I'm not old enough. This wasn't supposed to happen yet. I still want more kids of my own. (Not physically possible, but I have a deep interest in adoption/foster parenting.) I'm mad at my son and DIL2B for letting this happen. They're not old enough (translate that to "mature enough"). I shouldn't be angry and I feel guilty about my selfishness. But I guess I'll just have to get used to it. It doesn't mean I'm not going to love this baby. I already do. But the timing just sucks. Why couldn't they have waited until they were more established?

There, I did it. Now it's time to pass the curse on to other fellow bloggers. D didn't tell me what would happen if I didn't pass the tag along. But surely I'm avoiding some catastrophic event by not breaking the chain. Remember, I'm superstituous.

But I am taking D's advice and cutting back on the # of bloggers I'm blessing with the tag. My blogging network is pretty durn small. So the few of you that are getting this are of a unique group. Really. I promise.

http://threedumplings.blogspot.com/ - Monica

http://buckeyesinchina.blogspot.com/ - Robin

http://lanechinaadoption.blogspot.com/ - Sara

http://victoria-grace.blogspot.com/ - Stacy

Sorry Stacy, I saw on your blog someone had just nailed you the other day.

I am THE COOL mom...

2007-05-10T05:47:00.000-07:00

Tuesday night I escorted Girly and one of her friends to a concert. Typically, this isn't a big deal... Being big music buffs ourselves, we've always encouraged and dragged, I mean, taken our kids to a variety of concerts.

This one was a first, though. It was a concert of her choice. She badgered me about it for two months until I finally bought tickets the day before the show. These were the bands.

EEEEECK!!

AAAAAACK!

OMG, I have never felt so much my age...........This was horrible.

Before I bought the tickets I checked out the main band, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, over the internet. Checked their lyrics, etc. and they were pretty clean. I was surprised that the songs were without foul language, reference to violence or sex, nor encouraged listeners to come over to the Dark Side. So it was definitely a step up from rap and hip-hop. In fact, most of the lyrics didn't make a bit of sense to me. So I waived it off and bought 3 tickets.

It will be a long time before I let myself fall into that bucket again.

The show itself was held in a small venue. The hall probably holds about 1,000. And it was sold out. There were no seats in the hall itself. When Husband and I have gone to this same place for other concerts there were always tables and chairs set up. I guess they just do that for the old people, because none were to be seen Tuesday night. There were couches set up in the bar areas and that's where I ended up planting myself with several other chaperoning parents.

The majority of the crowd was in the range of 12-18, boys as well as girls, and many of the 12-13 years olds were accompanied by parents. We started our own bonded bunch.

The first band came on promptly at 8:00PM.

OMG. I. have. never. heard. such. NOISE!

No singing, just screaming.

Literally.

Apparently the look on my face said it all, because every parent sitting with me rolled with laughter.

It wouldn't have mattered what the lyrics said because you couldn't understand them. If I screamed at that baritone decibal I do believe my vocal cords would shred. It was awful. Think AC/DC's Bon Scott or Brian Johnson trying to see "how low they can go".

I do have to say, the crowd was orderly and well behaved. Not like the concerts I attended in my teens. There was no whiff of wacky-tobacky in the air and I did not see one kid who was zoned out of their mind. Being a product of the 70's and a veteran mom, I did see a few suspicious behaviors which prompted me to want to pull out an over the counter drug test, but nothing like I have witnessed in my own heyday.

Over and over, my Girly gushed "thank you's" and claimed me to be the "best mom in the world".

Adult Son was personally offended.

"You never let me go to concerts when I was 12 and 13!"

That's because at the time it was the onslaught of Rap and HipHop. I thought this was music of Satan.

Husband said that I sure was getting soft in my old age and could not fathom what posessed me to do such a thing.

The highlight of my evening was when a 20 something+, very attractive young man offered to buy me a beer. Ooooooweeee!! Was he trying to pick me up?

Turned out he was O-so impressed I was so interested in my daughter's likes and dislikes that I would take the time to research the band for appropriateness and accompany her to a concert that I really had no desire or business seeing. He wished his mom had been so thoughtful.

Okay. Ego properly deflated.

The concert ended promptly at 11:00 and everyone filed out in an orderly fashion. No stumbling over passed out bodies, no fights and no throw up. In this respect, I was impressed.

Musically, I was appalled.

But I maintained..

Because I AM the COOL mom.

But I think next time something like this comes up, I'll let Husband have the opportunity to be the COOL DAD.

Too much coolness can ruin momness. And in the long run I'd rather be the mom.

ROCK ON, COOL MOMS 4EVER!!!

My Boyfriend's Back!

2007-05-02T06:18:00.000-07:00

Yes, he's back!

I'm going to see him tonight!

And Husband is going with me!

So is Girly!

A real family "affair"!

Who is it?

Isn't he just dreamy?

Oh, I know, I know, he's young enough to be my son. Don't remind me. If I let myself think about it from that angle, it gets pretty creepy.

He's playing down on the waterfront as part of the Derby Festival.

I just can't wait!

Derby Doings

2007-04-26T08:59:00.000-07:00

It's a fine time to be livin' in the Bluegrass.

There is so much going on we can't keep our social calendar up to date. And we're not even on the "A" list....or "B"......or even "C" for that matter.

But so what? We're still havin' fun.

Saturday, we went to the Airshow.....

And stayed for the fireworks.. A friend of mine from work lives right on the Indiana side of the river. They have an annual pot luck every year so we hummed it to their house for the day. Made for a long day but it was great fun.

Next, this weekend is the Great Balloon Race with Friday night being the Balloon Glow. That's always awesome.

There's something way cool about walking around with your Starbucks while 50+ hot air balloons fill up all around you.

Next week is chock full of activities in the River City. Festivals, concerts, parades... all kinds of fun stuff. This is where I really miss my kids being young. There's a lot of joy in experiencing and watching little ones. Girly still likes to do these things, but it's not the same. Now, she has to take a friend wherever we go and they stay attached to each other while trying to avoid being seen with us. So it's Husband and me. Oh, well... good thing we still like each other.

And, of course, Saturday is also opening day for this place... I guess I know where my spouse will be that day.

We've always gone to the track. We're not big gamblers. Me, I'm a $1 Exacta Box kinda gal. $2 whole bucks. Husband is a little more sophisticated. He gets into all those "acta" and "ecta" words.... Exacta, Trifecta, Superfecta.... That's too complicated for me. I want to be able to figure out if I've won or not.

Years ago, when Girly was only about 3 years old, we were at the track on a real pretty day. She's well versed in horserace lingo. As she rode her Daddy's shoulders up to the fence to pet some of the walking horses, the bugleman played "The Call To The Post". Our racing educated daughter pipes out at the top of her lungs...

"DADDY!!! LISTEN! THEY'RE PLAYIN' YOUR FAVORITE SONG!!"

I cowered and waited for Social Services to come escort us away, while Husband just beamed with pride, responding,

"YEP, HONEY! THEY SURE ARE!"

Needless to say, we weren't nominated for Parents of the Year.

The Friday before Derby Day is Oaks Day.. or the Lillies for the Fillies. The feature race is the Kentucky Oaks for 3 year old (I think) fillies. This has always been the day for local yokels. For many years, we went to the infield and picniced all day long with a large regular crowd. The 9/11 came along and security became so tight it wasn't fun anymore. Can't bring coolers, can't bring food unless it's in a clear plastic container, no drinks and not even your own sunscreen... Just got ridiculous. Husband decided to boycott Oaks Day infield to get his point across to coorporate greedy SOBs. They haven't let on that they've missed him yet..

Everyone knows there's no way to smuggle your own booze in if you can't hide it under the ice in the cooler. Bunch of partypoopers, if you ask me.

Anyhoot, the last couple of years an affluent relative has taken pity on us and passed along box seats for Oaks Day. Now we're spoiled. Nothing like having your own chair and a real bathroom. Never mind that the Bloody Marys are $6 or $12 for a double. Beer is also $7, I think... We were hobnobbin' with higher echelon.

But just like everything else... all good things come to an end. This year, Affluent Relative did not get as many seats, so we are left out in the cold. I'm trying to talk Husband into tackling the infield again, if the weather is nice. He's taking vacation all of Derby week. How strategic is that?

So, I'll leave you with another picture of why I love the Bluegrass State.

Wish us luck 'cause WEEEE'RE OFF!

BYA BYA SANJAYA!!

2007-04-19T09:29:00.000-07:00

It's about friggin' time.

Girly and I both jumped up and started doing the happy dance.

I'm sorry my two personal faves were in the bottom.. Lakisha and Blake.. I hope they bounce back.

But now that he's gone, I don't feel so bad about continuing to watch..

I know. I really need a life.

Tax Time Is Over and Doggy Diagnosis

2007-04-17T16:07:00.000-07:00

TAX TIME

Well, I'm glad I went and spouted off in order to get all that stuff off my chest.

I dropped off our taxes and our hard earned additional portion of the $20K-$25K that we've already paid in fed and state income taxes. I still don't get it, but I can get off my soapbox for this year, anyway.

Hang around and who knows how far off the deep end I'll go next year.

DOGGY DIAGNOSIS

Well, vet came up with a very educated, biomedical diagnosis for the dog.

He's fat.

No sh*t. Like we didn't know.

He wants him to lose 20 lbs. Hey, I want to lose 20 lbs. too.

Since I gave up all of my vices for Lent this year I thought for sure that I would. But I didn't.
I think Brewz has about as much chance to lose 20 lbs. as I do. He's pretty much given up all of his vices too.
We've cut wayyy back on treats (Snausages, Roverolis etc.) DIL2B has sworn she will cut off some of our appendages if he gets people food.

Plus, he's getting way more exercise than he has in the past. When he's with us, Husband walks him religiously and lets him go down to the schoolyard for a good run just about everyday. Son & DIL2B's new house has a fabulous big fenced back yard. Son takes him out there and plays frisbee or ball with him.. At least he attempts to... When you throw something like the frisbee or the tennisball at Brewz, he just kind of looks at it - then at you like, "What the hell do you expect me to do? For crap sake, quit throwing stuff at me, I might get hurt or something!"

Anywho, the vet said that his hips are not in the best shape, but they're not really bad either. He just suffers from a big butt and skinny legs.

So for now, we're just going to have to keep watching his diet, make sure he gets out and runs plenty and keep Husband from frying him eggs for Sunday breakfast....

WHAT TIME IS IT????

2007-04-16T14:39:00.000-07:00

IT'S 1040!

Get it... Tax deadline time.. If you're like us conservative SOB's, you've held off till the last minute because you owe.

We do. Between federal and state I'm writing checks tonight for the total of about $800. That's pretty much a wash for us. So we're pleased.

We are among a minority in our income bracket. Upper middle class with no capital debt. Although we like living without longterm debt, this tax crap has got us stymied. Husband actually has extra withholdings for the IRS to keep us from owing too much.

We're both educated and proud of it, because we did it by ourselves. We both hold professional and management positions for 20+ each years.

We have a lovely home in a great part of town that we paid off in 15 years verses the 30 years or more that most couples do.

Our two children have had the privelege of private educations.

I drive a 07 Toyota Highlander and Husband drives a 2003 Camry. (Until that eyesore 07 Hummer came along).

What have we done wrong to actually owe taxes? We live within our means. We don't promote capital debt. It's just not in us.

Husband was the oldest of a family. There were money troubles for this Catholic family with five kids. They all went to Catholic schools. They're dad was a lineman for General Electric. He did all right, but Mom really had to stay home because there were so many kids at one time. It was a tight stretch. And as the oldest, it left the deepest impression on Husband. He's gotten much better over the years, but he still has to have his nest egg (just in case).

For me, my daddy was a small business owner. He didn't come by it easy. Although it's never been clarified, I suspect my daddy never graduated high school. But at a young age he started working for a guy that owned a gas station. Daddy went off to the Navy, came home and married my momma and went back to work for the same guy. Later the guy started to open local auto supply stores in the city. My Daddy followed him in business. Turned out my Daddy had a good head for business. The auto parts store took off and after some years, my Daddy, found himself part owner within a corporation of about 4 stockholders of a local string of stores. He really made a local name for himself. He was "Rube" of the the parts supply market. That's not his name, but when it came to business that's all the market knew him as..

My daddy had a rule that he passed down to all three of his daughters. Never buy something you can't pay for... He was a cash man. He only financed when it was to his advantage. It's ingrained in me.

So, us two tight SOB's are at a crossroads. We could sell our very middle class home in an absolutely fabulous location to upgrade and take on capital debt. Or we can stay where we are, upgrade the house a little more with a new mortgage, and stay here till at least Girly gets out of High School. Which I might mention, the current Catholic grade school that she attends is right up the street and the closest girls' Catholic High School is right next door to the grade school.
We're so torn. I don't want to take Girly from her neighborhood that has provided such stability over the years for both her and her adult brother. I HATE debt. It's just so ingrained in me that by the time you reach our age, (the 45-50ish range), life should be financially good. And it is. If it wasn't for the goddamn government.. (so sorry, it really goes against my grain to say to say the g-damn word.).

So we've achieved a small portion of the American Dream.. But my question is... Why do we have to pay for it?

Doggy Mortality Thoughts

2007-04-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

This isn't my dog... just one that looks like him. Brewzer's face is black. In fact, Husband often refers to him as "You black faced devil!".

Brewzer's under anesthesia right now. He's having his hips x-rayed. Lately, we've been noticing it takes him a lot longer to get up and down. And sometimes he limps on his back leg.

So his two doggie moms, (DIL2B and me) decided to take him to the vet. We called first and the vet (we just love this guy) told me that it would be best to go on and xray him because of his age and weight issues. He said it could be something as simple as a strained hip muscle or it could be dysplasia. It could also be the onset of arthritis.

Brewzer is five years old now. In Boxer years that makes him fifty. This breed physically ages quickly. Right now he and Husband are about the same age. Husband being 51 right now. Maybe that's why they are so attached to each other. It's hard not to think of him as anything but our puppy. We still refer to him as "Puppy".

"What'cha doin', Puppy?"

"What'cha want, Puppy?"

"C'mon Puppy, let's go out!"

Okay, we know he weighs more than 8 puppies put together, but he's still my baby. He triggers all my maternal instincts as much as my own kids do...

This is ironic considering I had never owned a dog or even wanted one before him. Hell, I didn't want him in the beginning. He was thrust upon me when Son just brought him home one day as a ten week old baby dog. But as it typically happens, the mom became the primary caregiver.

I saw that he had food and water all the time. I housetrained him, took him to the vet for his shots and check ups, all the good stuff. Yes, I am the one who took him in and had him fixed. I am guilty of rendering him nutless.

I wasn't all alone in Brewzer's upbringing. Husband was even more resistant to him than I was... But he eventually warmed up. He taught him the basic commands, ("Sit, you dumb-ass", "Down, you dumb-ass"). I'm sure in his young months he thought his name was "Dumb-ass". Now they walk the neighborhood on a regular basis. Brewz doesn't need a leash most of the time. They just walk side by side. Brewz stopping to sniff, pee or whatever and Husband patiently waiting.

So, DIL2B took him in to the vet this morning at 7:30. I have to pick him up at 12:30. He'll probably still be groggy, so I'm sure I'll have to help him into the car. Especially since my Highlander sits up high...Hence the vehicle name... DUHHHH...

I know it sounds terribly stupid, but if something is wrong with him, we'll all be beside ourselves. I understand now how people get so attached. I've already made up my mind that I'll do or pay whatever the vet says he needs. He'll probaby be the Six Million Dollar Dog.

But I don't care. Anything for my Brewzie-Baby.

So, as silly as it sounds, please keep my doggy in your thoughts.

No Need to Pimp this Ride--Husband's Hum-dinger

2007-04-13T08:53:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, Husband came home with a company car, courtesy of his distributor employer. He got it because he's top salesman ( and now he has the vanity plate on this vehicle to prove it)...

Yep...my hard working honey is the top dawg when it comes to selling soda drinks.. After 25 years, I guess he ought to be, huh?

Now this is the car they gave him.

It's a big red '07 Hummer...Wait, let me clarify that....It's a Big Red 07 Hummer.

Really, A Big Red Hummer.

It's covered with this...

And this......

It kind of looks like a parade float. In fact, I fully expect him to be asked to drive it in some of the local parades.

He came home on that Monday evening and announced that he had to go back over to the office in a little while. This isn't too unusual, especially if there is a surge in business. But when he said his buddy was going to pick him and take him back over because he had won something, it piqued my interest...Big Al picked him up in his truck.

All sorts of things were running thru my greedy head... What would he have won that would constitute picking it up in Al's truck?

A big flat screen?

A cool scooter?

New home entertainment center?

All new kitchen appliances?

Then he came home with THAT thing. At first I was horrified. Girly too.

They want us to use it all the time....You know, for the exposure. Oh, Lordy...

Girly and I both have to literally climb up into it as if it were a rock wall.

On top of that, it comes with a gas card... Now there's no way I can argue with that...

On top of that, it's actually starting to grow on me. I'm no longer gasping in shock when I see him come down our street. It's actually gotten kind of fun to watch people rubberneck to check it out.. Hey, the windows are all tinted with soda logo, no one can see us.

So let's see how long he can hold the #1 spot. I may be sad if it has to go.

Note to Mother Nature: It's supposed to be SPRING Break

2007-04-11T07:07:00.000-07:00

Today is the 3rd day of our school system spring break. It's raining....
Last night we had rain, thunder and pea size hail.

Good Friday we had a wave of off and on heavy snow flurries. The temp dropped below freezing and killed off all of my azalea blossoms. The hail took down all of my dogwood blossoms. I'm heartbroken. Like any true southern woman, I love my bloomin' yard.

Early last week the temp was in the high 70's and low 80's. I was in my glory.. I hate cold.

I love opening the windows and "airing the house out" as my mom and grandma would say.
I like to hang sheets and blankets outside on the clothesline. I think they smell better.

So, I'm depressed. So is Girly. It's our school system's spring break but there is nothing springlike in the bluegrass right now.

Bah Humbug!

Happy Aniversary to Us!

2007-03-28T11:41:00.000-07:00

Today is our wedding anniversary. We know for sure because we both checked the framed invitation sitting on a end table in our livingroom.

Long ago in a galaxy far, far away..... I met Husband thru a mutual friend who he just happened to be casually dating at the time. They fizzled (actually I don't think the match ever got lit) and we started hanging out.

We knew each other about 18 months before we got married. I'll never forget his romantic proposal.

"Well, I'm almost 30. I think it's about time I got married. Do you wanna?"

What a heartfelt, thoughtout proposal.

I think I said something like,,,,

"Mmmmm, why not?"

Later on we went and bought a ring. When he picked it up he brought it over to me dropped it in my lap and said:

"Don't say I never give you anything."

Another well executed romanticism.

But that's okay. We mesh well.

So, what are we doing on this glorious evening?

Well, we're all working on Girly's math fair project which is due tomorrow. She's known about it for a month but has just started on it the last couple of days.

So, we won't be going out on a date or even having a cozy dinner at home. We're eating leftovers and working on a trifold display about, of all things, Wind Velocity. Can you believe she chose this subject? Then thanks to the fact that I work with a bunch of geeky pocket protecting engineers, we'll be building a weather vane per their instructions. (Thanks Justin and Wes!)

Isn't marriage magnificent?

Believe it or not, I truly think so.

Foghorn Leghorn?

2007-03-28T08:32:00.000-07:00

So, did you watch last night?

As I watched all I could think was this....

Yes, I know. Senjaya's faux hawk was bigger. But he was so cocksure of himself.

Now, not only can he not sing well enough to be in this league, but he's developed an attitude.

Mowgli or Malakar?

2007-03-22T09:41:00.000-07:00

The local radio morning DJ's that I listen to came up with this comparison.

Senjaya

Mowgli from Disney's "The Jungle Book"

I think they hit the nail on the head. But I bet Mowgli sings better.

Who the hell is voting for this kid? I've got nothing against him personally, but Stephanie was a better singer/entertainer.

The whole concept of this competition has lost its credibility.

So Kick Me Already

2007-03-20T05:53:00.000-07:00

But not too hard... I didn't watch the whole show.

I missed the last three, Gina, Chris S. and Melinda. Girly said Gina stunk. I'm sorry about that 'cause I really like her.

But Holy Cow, now even the judges have been brainwashed!

Even they were giving Senjaya kudos last night. It must be some sort of virus. MSNBC.com had this to say this morning.

"Sanjaya Malakar, 17, Federal Way, Wash.: Malakar wasn’t great this week, but at least he was entertaining, and even made one girl in the audience cry. Singing the Kinks’ “You Really Got Me” allowed him to strut his stuff and wander into the crowd. Of course, Malakar doesn’t make a very convincing Kink, nor does the tough guy outfit do much for him. But the judges were nice to him for the first time since the auditions, so at least it worked for them.

Grade: C Stay or go? If Malakar moves the rest of the audience like he did the one sobbing fan, he might win the competition. That’s doubtful, though, so he’s still in trouble. "

I have to agree with the author. And I think he's being pretty darn nice.

And why in the world did the cameraman focus on that sobbing little girl in the audience? For all we know, she may have been crying because her dog just died. I feel for her though, because she's really going to take some heat from her school peers. 10-11 year old boys are going to jump on this one.

What's the world coming to?

I've Been Blinged!!

2007-03-15T11:03:00.000-07:00

My blog has been blinged!!

Thanks so much to Sara of http://lanechinaadoption.blogspot.com/ for hooking me up!

I've been reading her blog for many months about her journey to become Mia Lin's mommy. She is so honest and refreshing..and pretty funny too. She is really on top of her game.

Now that I'm all gussied up, maybe the big bloggy kids will let me play!

On a lighter note...American Idol

2007-03-14T07:54:00.000-07:00

Sanjaya's hair last night.

AACK!

I swear if he's not gone after this week I'm not watching... Kick me if I do.

To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate, That Is The Question....

2007-03-14T06:41:00.000-07:00

Well, we did it. Last week I took Girly in for her next Hep A shot and they also gave her the first of the three Gardisil vaccines. I still have some reservations about doing this. Husband was for it, and didn't think it was a big deal, but I am only about 80%-90% comfortable with it.

Not because I'm some sort of prude and think this is going to invite her to have sex.. thinking she is safe from certain forms of herpes, etc... but because I just don't feel fully educated the vaccine. And in my mind, no one is yet.

Grant it, I was pretty ignorant about it back in the fall. I had taken Girly in for her 6th grade physical and we had a nurse pratictioner do the exam. In 24 years of going to the same pediatrician, I had never met this person. The NP just assumed that once given the photocopied handout about the vac, I would just go along with it.

I didn't.

I wasn't comfortable. I told her I would prefer to talk to my OB-GYN of many years to get more info and her take on the situation before I decided.

I must say I had already formed a less than favorable opinion of the NP. Upon learning that Girly had started her period the previous year, she proceeded to give her a lecture about peer pressure to have sex, never have sex with a boy unless you use a condom and some sort of birth control. Blah, blah....

I stood there totally dumbfounded. Once again, I am not a prude, quite the opposite. But it galled me that it was assumed that just because my daughter's newly 12 year old body is maturing at a rapid rate, that she's emotionally and mentally ready to run the gamut.
I'm her mother, I should know. Yes, she is pubescent, but she still has times where she plays with her stuff animals.. Of course, she may be listening to Fall Out Boy or Panic! At the Disco at the same time, but she is transitioning. As parents, we are walking her thru that process in her life.

It really pissed me off that the NP did not consult me before broaching this subject. I was totally ticked and Girly was embarassed. After we left, she even asked me,

"What did she think? That I'm some sort of you-know-what or something?"

I told her it was probably just the NP's procedure, and we would forget about it for a while. (A long while, I hope.) I wondered if my reaction was a little over the top, so I called DIL2B and asked her (she's 24 and hipper than me). She was outraged also. DIL2B said if a doctor or nurse had approached her at that age, she would have been just as bewildered as Girly. So I felt fairly vindicated for the wrath I thrust upon the NP as well as the vow I made to never, ever make an appointment at the Ped office and end up seeing that NP again. Just our regular doctors and NPs.

Anywho, that just contributed to me digging in my heals on the Gardisil vaccine. I worry about long term effects. How much do the powers at be really know about them? Are there any? What could they be?

My MIL took a particular drug in the 50's and 60's for sickness during pregnancy. I can't remember what is was, but now studies are showing that daughters born to women who took this drug have hormone deficiencies and other problems. Both of my SIL's have had fertility issues. My younger SIL (#1, because I like her better) lost her first child due to an incompetent cervix. My other SIL (#2, I like her less) has dealt with early onset menopause and was not able to expand her family as she wanted. The articles #1 SIL and I read state that these are symptoms of the hormonal deficiencies caused in female offspring of women who took this medication. I need to ask #1 what the name of that stuff was....

So I'm wondering... What am I doing to my daughter? Did I do the right thing? Should I have held off? I've started it now so I guess we'll finish.

Oh Geez... This is heavy stuff for today...

Anyone got an opinion?

Anyone?

Give it to me as long it makes me feel better about the decision.

New Picture of Our China Girl

2007-03-12T06:04:00.000-07:00

Kelly's mom sent me this pic last night. She's wearing a poncho I made her with my own crafty little hands. I must say, she makes my sometimes sloppy handiwork look good. I should use her as my model.

Dawg! What' up America !!??

2007-03-09T06:01:00.000-08:00

This is going to be short.

American Idol.

I may just have to quit watching.

Girls, Girls, Girls!

2007-03-08T07:09:00.000-08:00

So they tell us we're having a girl. I mean, my son and daughter- in-law-to-be (DIL2B) are having a girl. I tried to post the ultrasound pic that supposedly tell us about the girl part but it wouldn't post. I am soooo technologically challenged. Anyway, if you're like me, you have to take the ultrasound tech's word for it. I sure can't tell by looking at the picture. I did manage to count her fingers and toes though..

Sooooo, somewhere around July 19th, we'll be welcoming Reagan Nicole to the looneybin-----I mean, family. I'm actually starting to get a little excited. I hope she has hair. Girly had so much hair, everyone thought she was older than she was. She came out with a full head.

Now this is a picture I can post.

This is Kelly Elizabeth. One of my best friends, brought her home from Wuhan in the Hubei Province of China over the Xmas holidays. They got her on Xmas day! Wasn't Santa good to them this year?! She is such a cutie!! And sooo funny! She's been home with her mom, dad and older brother and sister a little over two months now. They are having their ups and downs with attachment issues, but are working thru it.

We hope to inherit all of her squeaky shoes!!

American Idol Dudes

2007-03-07T05:30:00.000-08:00

What is up with the fellas on American Idol?

None of them can sing. Over half of them warbled thru the songs last night, sounding even more amateur than their original auditions.

The two that sounded the best were the Blake dude and that Chris fella who went last. And the judges didn't care too much for either of them. Chris can't help that he is a body double for "Hurley" from Lost. But he can sing and he has a great public persona.

That Senjaya (???, I'm not gonna take the time to check the spelling), really creeps me out. He is so Michael Jacksonish, he's scary. His voice was really weak last night and has been all along. But he is a kid, so he has plenty of time to mature. I hope his male hormones kick in also.

And why was Simon picking on Phil's eyeballs? Yeah, it's Phil's fault he picked a bad song, but he sure can't help that he has bugeyes. Simon's comments were not constructive critique, but were just plain mean.

I'm beginning to ponder if there is some sort of set up... You know, a guy won the last time and a girl won the time before.....so it's time for another girl. Most of the girls are good. There are some weak ones who's days are obviously numbered, but after they're gone the real competition will start.

But anyway, I'll watch again tonight and tomorrow night (flipping back and forth from "Survivor", of course), cursing myself for being so interested in something so trivial.

But that's entertainment, I guess.

Dog Blog

2007-02-27T10:39:00.000-08:00

Every now and then I like to write about the antics of our dog. He's an almost 5 year old Boxer named Brewzer.

He is a humongous baby.

Even though he weighs 80+ lbs. and has a chest like a heavyweight lifter.

Brewz is very broad. Everyone blames me for his weight issues. I had him fixed as soon as the vet gave the okay. Having no experience as a dog owner, I didn't know it would stunt or escalate any form of his growth. I just didn't want him peeing everywhere and hunching everything in sight. So we have a stocky, smaller headed Boxer. Sue me.

But Brewz is a sweetie of a dog. At first impression he may scare people. He's big with a big ol' head, teeth and droopy jaws. And he's excitable. He loves people. Everyone is his friend, regardless if they think so or not. Company cannot get past him without acknowledgement.

We live a rock's throw from an elementary school with a huge grassy field. Husband takes Brewz down there and lets him run. Running in the fenced yard cannot be compared with running without fence constraints. I don't know if Clydesdales gallop or sprint, but if they do, that's what this dog reminds you of as he runs at full speed to his heart's content. We call him "PonyDog"... At one point when I was with Husband during one of these jaunts, I commented,

"Ahh, look at him...He's so happy, he's smiling!"

Husband gave me a sideways look..

"If you had floppy jaws and were running at that breakneck speed, you'd look like you were smiling too."

Well, let's just conjure up that mental picture.

I still think he smiles when he's happy.

This past Sunday, as we sat at the table reading the paper and drinking coffee, Brewzer sat between our chairs. I ran across an ad that had a full page of doggie stuff on sale.

I held the ad down to Brewzer's level saying,

"Lookey Brewzie, there's all kinds of doggie stuff!"

Brewz studied the ad.

Once again, a sideways look from Husband,

"Teri, he can't read....."

Oh yeah?

Later that day when I came in from shopping at the same store as the ad, Brewz got all excited as I brought the bags in with the store logo on them. He sniffed around and really wanted to empty one particular bag. Well it was the one with his "Busy Bone" in it as advertised.

HA! And Husband says he can't read!

A big part of Brewzer's weight problem has to do with eating too much people food. I don't feed him people food, and Girly doesn't feed him people food. His other set of doggie parents (Son and Girlfriend) don't feed him people food either. So who's the offender?

Husband.

Whatever husband is eating, Brewzer gets some of it. He really doesn't beg, but he just sits there on his rump watching you eat, with big longing eyes. Husband has no will power. He is constantly feeding Brewz something.

If Husband cooks, it's on Sunday morning. Fried eggs are his specialty. Mostly because for some reason, I just can't fry an egg without busting it up. So then it's a scrambled egg. It must be a hand/eye coordination thing, because I am sorely lacking. Girly and I like fried eggs with toast to dip. So on this one particular Sunday, Husband had fried us up eggs and toast. He continued over the stove and I assumed he was fixing his own. All of sudden I hear the dog,

"Lap, Slurp, Lick, Lap, Slurp..."

Unbelieving, I say to Husband,

"Did you fix the dog eggs too?"

"Well, yeah... dogs really like eggs and they're good for them. It's not fair for all of us to sit here and eat while he doesn't get any."

Oh Geez.

And Husband tells me that Brewzer doesn't have any human qualities. Well, the dog can certainly can play the man like a fiddle.

At least I can admit I spoil the dog.

A Lenten Conviction or 20 Pounds and Counting.....

2007-02-23T05:27:00.000-08:00

Why O why does our metabolism slow down to a pace equivalent to a half dead snail as we mature? I don't want to say age, because I still think of myself as young.. Unfortunately, my metabolism doesn't.

I have been fighting with the cumulative value of 20+ lbs. for 10 years. At first it was 5, then 10, then 15.....You get algebraic formula? Now it's creeping toward 25 and I am panicky about it going any further.

The kicker of it hit me right between the eyes last month. It was Son's Girlfriend's birthday. (I really need to come up with a new name for her as she is expecting his baby in 4 months. "Girlfriend" isn't quite hitting the mark.)

But anyway, Girly and I went shopping to a Mall maternity shop looking for something for Girlfriend's birthday. We were perusing the racks and racks of very trendy (and I might add expensive) maternity clothes. I had a couple of shirts hanging across my arm as Girly and I decided what most fit Girlfriend's style and personality. We were having an in-depth conversation, when the sales clerk approaches and says to me:

"I can start you a fitting room if you like."

Uh? Who is she talking to?

I look at her as if she has just popped a third eyeball. You talkin' to me? It took several moments to register before I start to sputter:

"NO,,, Uh.. Gawd NO!!!... Not for me!!! No, no, no...... This is for my ummmmmm, daughter in law....no, no, not me.. My baby days are over..."

Before it registers what I've said, she looks at Girly... For gosh sake lady, SHE'S TWELVE!!!

"No, No,,,, not for us.." I sputter on....

She replies, dripping with syrup, I may add..."Well, you just never know these days....."

And goes about her merry mommy clothes sellin' way. I silently damn her to a lifetime of fat pants..

By this time Girly is suffering from apoplexy and is heading toward the door, cell phone in hand, ready to call all the human race and announce the saleswoman thought her mother was pregnant. She is rolling.

Grant it, I did not look my best that day. It was a legal holiday, Girly was out of school and I was off work, so we took the opportunity to schlep around, eat a breakfast buffet and use up the rest of our Xmas giftcards. Apparently, tooling around the mall in sweats after gorging on the breakfast buffet was the wrong idea. When I relayed this incident to my family and friends they encouraged me to take solace in the idea that the sales lady actually thought I was still young enough to reproduce. I really didn't find any comfort in this.

My weight issue is compounded by the facts that I am of short and petite build. I never had to watch my weight until I hit somewhere in my thirties. I'm totally undisciplined when it comes to diet, exercise, etc. I just can't get make myself get serious.

I'm not a bad eater. I do eat relatively healthy. Don't do very many sweets at all. Both Husband and I are salad freaks. We eat lots of it. At least once or twice a day. I'll usually make a big bowl of just veggie salad and the two of us will eat off it for couple of days or so. I do pretty good with it. He could do better. He's a real eggs and cheese man. He also pours on the dressing as if he's trying to hose down a blaze. But, regardless, we're talking about me, not him. I do crave salt. I can knock out an entire bag of chips and onion dip in one sitting. Not that I'm proud of it, but I used to be able to do this without conscience. Never had to think about it hitting my midsection.

With the onset of Lent...I vow to give up the things that are making me fat. Most likely one of them is alcohol. Empty calories, so no alcohol for the next six weeks.

Now, remember, we're Catholic.

It's Fish Fry season.

Tonight is the first night.

I am Fish Fry Co-Captain.

So I'll be there from 7:00 till close and clean up. It's usually our custom to hang around afterwards to eat and drink some of the leftovers. I guess I'll sit there with my Fiji Water (one of Husband's products) and eat the broiled fish and green beans rather than those big rolled oysters, onion rings and a cold Bud.

O Discipline, I call on thee to be my friend!

The other thing I need to do is exercise this 46 year old body some. I do nothing physical... zilch, nada, zero. The fact is that if I do, I can cut my weight problems in half...

Girly and I have been talking about taking up walking in the neighborhood. I used to do this quite a bit and really enjoyed it. I did it a lot when she was small as an effort to take off the baby weight and as a way to have some "me" time in the evening. With her age and the teen years lapping at my heals, it would be good for the two of us to walk 30 minutes in the evening and have that one on one time everyday. I hope I'm not fooling myself by thinking we might actually "bond".

Some years ago (quite many, actually), Husband the opportunity to win a high end exercise bike is a sales contest. I begged him to win this particular item (rather than an all expense paid trip or something equivalent). He won the bike, put it in our basement. I can probably count on all my fingers and toes how many times I've been on this bike. Every once in a while he throws the subject of the unused bike at me, but since he doesn't get on it either, he can't say much. It just kind of sits there next to the pool table like a piece of pop culture art. I vow to make use of it in bad weather, when I can't go out.

I vow to cut out fried foods and cut down my salt intake. This is hard. I am a saltaholic. In the summer, when we have fresh tomatoes from our yard, it's nothing for me to grab a big one, cut it up, salt it like no tomorrow and eat it. I can do this several times a day. I add salt to my ketchup......after I've salted my fries. I'm sure my sodium level is off the geiger counter.

So that's the Lenten plan.. Hopefully, with effort, discipline and prayer, I'll be successful. And maybe drum up some brownie points from Heaven at the same time. I just hope there's fried onion rings, salt and Budweiser when I get there.

Point Proven

2007-02-15T08:02:00.000-08:00

For Valentine's Day, I got some herb seeds for my herb pots and spring lettuce seeds for my garden...

And of box of candy..

As Christina Agu-what's-her-name would sing...

"What a man, What a man, What a mighty good man!"

Valentine's Day Musings

2007-02-13T09:00:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day approaches us and romance is supposed to be in the air.......

Did you ever have one of "those" moments that confirms you're married to the exact person you were meant to be with??

I have on many occasions.

One was this past Sunday morning while taking a shower...I don't know what happened....One second I was washing my face and the next my right eye started to ache something awful.

Husband had just shouted to me that he was going to have to go to work for a while because one of his people failed to show up.. As he's yelling, "Honey, I'm going now......", I proceed to yelling:

"OW! OW! OW....MY EYE!!.....OW! OW! COME HERE QUICK!!!!"

Husband throws open the bathroom door, comes in and says, "What the hell is the matter?"

I continue standing in the running water with suds in my hair, hollering..."MY EYE! OW! OW!"..

Husband, "What'd you do, get soap in your eye?"

Me, "NO, IT JUST HURTS!!!! OW! OW!"

I will take this moment to confess I am somewhat of a wus when it comes to pain.

Still a little puzzled, he pulls back the shower curtain and there I stand in all of my glory, suds abounding, with my hand over my eye.

He reaches in, pulls my hand away and says, "OMG, your eye is like, bleeding or something... Like you've busted a blood vessel.."

He proceeds to pull me out of the shower, suds and all, and plop me on the toilet seat..

Peering into my face, he says, "I can even see the red creeping around your eyeball."

He rushes out of the bathroom, puts some ice in a ziploc bag and comes back..

"Maybe if we put ice on it, it'll keep the red from spreading."

By this time the ache is all but gone, I'm sitting stark naked on the toilet seat, dripping suds and water all over....The hot water is still running and the ice is melting on my eye because it's hot in there from steam.

But he stands there holding the ziploc on my eye with one hand and drying me off with a towel with the other. He continues this administration and calms me down.

As he stands there with his jacket still on, getting wet, I have "the moment".

This is the man who always has my back. This is the person who loves me with all of his heart. This is the person I was meant to be with.

The first time I noticed one of those moments was several years ago. Girly was just a baby and by luck of the draw I ended up having a hysterectomy. I remember after the surgery, they kept coming in and pumping morphine in me. Now, that can be a good thing (a really good thing).. But after a while, even a wus like me gets tired of not being even a tad clearheaded. Of course I couldn't vocalize anything because my lips and tongue were mush. At one point the nurse came in to see if I needed anything...... a drink? blankets? ready for food? and oh, yeah, some more morphine? I remember looking into Husband's eyes and mentally thinking, "I just wish I could get my head straight...."

Husband says to nurse, "Ya' know, I don't think it's the pain that's bothering her.... I think she's just tired of being "out of it"... She can't stay lucid." At that point they started to cut back the morph and only gave it to me when I asked.

"YES!!" This is the man who can read my mind. He knows me like a book. I don't need to vocalize to him... Except when I'm trying to get him to put stuff back in the refrigerator, pick his underwear up off the floor, etc..... When it comes to the real important stuff, he knows what I want and need.

Romance is the first year we lived in our current home.. Almost 20 years ago.. There were some hideously huge evergreen bushes in the front of the house. Grossly overgrown and ugly.
I wanted azaleas... something with flowers. So I went to the greenhouse and came home with 5 baby azalea bushes. Husband asks me where I plan to put them.

"Why, in front of the house, of course. "

"And what do you plan to do with these 45 year old hideously huge evergreens?"

"Well, I guess we'll have to take them out."

It took him a number of weekends to get those evergreens out.. The roots were huge and deep. He ended pulling his truck into front yard, tying up the roots and yanking them out. I thought the truck was going to pull the basement out from under the house, but he persevered.

Almost 20 years later, I have 5 very large, well groomed purple and pink azaleas along the front of my house. I think of him sweating, digging and pulling all those years ago.

That's romantic.

We are not the kind of people who get into flowery arrangements and words. Neither one of us is tremendously romantic. I think we both make a lot of romantic gestures which we, personally, think are romantic. Like on our anniversary, most every year, Husband brings me some sort of perennial or bulb plant for my front flower bed. Nothing expensive or big, but over the years I've developed a nice flower garden and we both can usually remember when we got each plant.

Never mind both of us have a hard time remembering what exact day our anniversary is...If you ask Husband when we got married, all he'll tell you is that we got married on Final Four Weekend. I remember it that way too. We had to make sure we had televisions hooked up in the reception hall. And later, we finished watching the playoffs on our honeymoon from Lake Tahoe. If we can't get the date right, we can at least get close on pinning down the weekend.

What matters is that I would jump over the moon for him and vice versa. Almost 25 years later, we are closer than we've ever been. We are bestest of best friends.

That's romantic.

Anywho, I did go to the doctor on Monday to find out that I had scraped an outer layer of my eyeball. I look gross. Everybody at work keeps looking at me, saying "Do you know your eye is all red?" Well, duh.... Yep, I think I noticed.

But my Husband took care of me. Romance can be relative.

The Various Forms of Stupidity

2007-02-09T05:52:00.000-08:00

The exploitations of a couple of women have been splashed all over the press the past several days..

The recent debacle of the astronaut turned "Fatal Attraction" persona is the first to come to mind. This lifelong ex-military career scientist/engineer took it upon herself to confront another woman about a relationship with her intended love interest. Everyone is musing over just what happened in this female's mind. Did she snap from exceedingly high expectations? Over her fear of failure? Loss of control? And on and on and on.....

Come on people! Snap out of it! Don't overanalyze the situation. The smarter our society gets, the more we over-intellectualize every freakin' thing.

The woman made an incredibly stupid decision and committed an incredibly stupid act. I've known many highly cerebral, educated people who can't exercise a lick of rationality or common sense. The whole mess is a blatant act of stupidity on her part and she should take her lumps and learn from them. Moral of the story, you're not gonna get your man by act of pepper spray, steel mallet and 900 mile dependable diapers. Bad move. It just won't work.

Does this mean she's incapable of serving in our space program in some adequate capacity? Probably not. Does she need intense psychoanalysis and treatment?

In my mind, probably not.

She definitely needs help getting her personal life in order, but it doesn't mean she's not a good engineer. This is not a rant in her defense. Quite the opposite, really. I just think there is too much emphasis on analyzing her psyche. Because she is highly educated in a high profile career we want to blame some sort psychotic breakdown rather than dealing with the situation at hand. There has to be a good reason someone that highly regarded would stoop so low. Or could she have just been stupid. My vote is on stupid.

The other woman is dead. Most likely from a drug overdose. She came across as pretty stupid.... But was she totally stupid?

In my mind, not really.

She was smart enough to capitalize on what (umph) "assets" she possessed. We, as well as our media, have been interested enough to keep the (umph) "exposure" alive for well over ten years. She cashed in on her so called celebrity status quite famously. She lived a pretty high life, no pun intended... Pretty good for a highschool droput, backwoods chick who without the exposure would still be working at a greasy diner in some rural town or, for that matter, living off the government.

Where does her stupidity come in? When she crossed the line and let the celebrity status take control. She wasn't smart enough to stay in control. Whether it was drugs, poor management or a combination. She lost her control and what common sense she had. I'm not saying she had a lot to begin with... but she obviously had some.. And now she's dead. That makes her stupid. Not necessarily cashing in on exploitation of her (umph) physical assets and the drama surrounding her life. She let the drama and celebriality (sic) take control. If you're going to capitalize on the drama, keep your head about it. Letting the drama and other influences get control is stupid.

I'll add this disclaimer to this short rant.... I am not a rocket scientist nor do I possess any such (umph) assets that may draw exploitation. So I'll just paraphrase my favorite local eclectic columnist... "This is just my own damn opinion, so if you don't like it, sue me."

And remember......there many forms of stupidity...One of our goals in life should be to avoid them.

Another Stage of Life

2007-02-01T07:32:00.000-08:00

My sister in law is about to embark on a journey.. One that I don't even know I would have taken, given the option.

She is quitting work to stay home.

For many people, given the option, this would be a no-brainer. But for L, it has been a monumental, heart wrenching decision. The middle child of 5 from a blue collar family, she started babysitting when she was about 11 and has always held a job since.

You see, L's a very independent, driven individual. She married very young at 20 (the first time) and the guy was.....well, let's be honest, a bum. She worked, went to school and was the sole responsible party in the marriage. Luckily, the marriage ended after five years (5 years too late, if you ask me) but it left some permanent scars. L became so self sufficient, it actually scared men off. She has had a lot of trust and control issues. It's understandable.

She stayed in school, working full time plus a part time job, earned two degrees and sat for the CPA and passed on the first go round. She bought her first home while she was single in 1988. For the past several years, she has been controller at an international tool manfacturing company, (initials B&D).

I might also add the L is a very attractive woman with a huge heart.

To cut to the chase, she remarried in 1999 at the age of 38. Her husband (the BIL that has to have a manly Harley, see 11/14/06 post) is a pilot who has also been married before. L has always wanted children and became pregnant for the first time at age 40. Unfortunately, the pregnancy ended with a stillborn baby girl. L was diagnosed with an incompetent cervix. If you're not familiar, this is where the cervix cannot withstand the pressure the baby exerts as he/she grows, typically resulting in premature labor. It was ironic that someone who has spent her entire life being so highly competent would have this problem.

It was devastating. I was devastated for her. I hurt so bad for the two of them. But L took it in stride. I never saw her truly cry. She got emotional, but she was a rock thru the whole thing.
I worried that she needed to let go and grieve. If she did, it was between her and BIL.
They debated another pregnancy. BIL wasn't really up for it, but he wasn't all that up for it the first go round as his kids from his first marriage were 20 and 17 at the time.

They decided to give it another shot, more for L's sake than anything. And on January 30, 2004, L gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

Recently, after kicking it around for several years, BIL has taken a flight captain's position. More money, but more commitment, responsibility and more travel. L had tried cutting back her hours, trying to work only 25-30 a week. It wasn't working. She is too damn dedicated.

She should be like me and work for the government...I'm dedicated, but only to a certain degree.. It just doesn't take much to excel around my agency. But that's another subject for
discussion.

So, she is going to quit her job. At 45, for the first time, she will be unemployed. She will not have her "own" income. And she is terrified. I don't blame her. This is the one thing that always got me. My "own money".. Plus, how does she convert from being a corporate power to the SAHM of a 3 year old?

Will her educated, finely tuned brain turn to mush? Will The Wiggles take the place of Meet The Press? Will she be cutting up everyone's food at the table, no matter what age?

Some may think I'm undermining SAHPs, but I'm not. My question is, once you've made the decision, how do you make the transition after sooooo many years of conditioning.
She is so used to being the one in control, making the decisions, I just don't see the adaption process as easy.

Please be assured that the question is not just for her, but for me also. This year I qualify for early retirement. I have the state retirement systems calculating several options for me as we speak. The difference between her and I is that I do not have a small child at home and will receive an income in pension form. In many ways, I'm ready for it. I don't want to be the "answer person" anymore. At least I think I don't want to be.

I wonder if I go to work at some firm or wherever if I'll be able to cope with some preppy just out of grad school greenie for a boss.. What will stop me from fighting the urge to take control and upstage them? Or treating them like a child, for that matter--throwing them in a time out when I don't like their smart mouth.

I'm not so sure I'm ready.

So my question is, how does one deal with the transition? What can one do to avoid the feeling of loss over "financial independence"?

My New Crush....

2007-01-22T06:20:00.000-08:00

For over 20 years now, I have told Husband that there is only one man on earth that I would ever leave him for........

Eric Clapton.

Yes, Eric Clapton, the old guy that can make a guitar sing soul and the blues unlike few others. Keep in mind he wasn't all that old when this started (and neither was I).. but not only is he a legendary musician, but there is something so sexy about him and his voice, I just melt when I hear or see him.. I have no idea what it is...I've never been the groupie type. Even in my 70's heyday.

Obviously, Husband has never felt threatened by my personal confession of attraction to another man. In fact, he seemed to find humor in my crush. Imagine that.

But now, after Saturday night, I have a new crush. Another guitarist, with a voice that stirs your soul.

Jonny Lang.

This boy is hot. In every way, shape, and form. He is one tight package. Husband and I went to a live show of his on Saturday night. I had only heard one of his CDs and thought it was pretty good but was not blown away. I wasn't prepared to be as awestruck as I was with his live performance.

We actually had tickets for the show back in November, but it was canceled and rescheduled at the last minute. And I do mean last minute. We were in front of the theatre when staff informed us that Mr. Lang was sick and the show would be rescheduled. His bus was in the back but he was too ill to perform.

This bit of last minute news did very little for my opinion of the young buck. At the time my thought was "Well, great... another kid on the fast track can't regulate his booze and recreational drugs." I wasn't the only one with that opinion. Obnoxious Husband and his equally obnoxious buddy whom we were spending the evening with were determined to go round back and beat on the bus windows in order to see if Mr. Lang was really puking or whatnot. With a little encouragement and ultimatums from their spouses, they refrained, and did not end up spending the night in the Jefferson County Jail. So as it turned out, the 4 of us hit some downtown bars and still spent a relatively pleasant evening. Any night out with my husband and friends is a perk.

So, as rescheduled, we headed back to the theatre this past Saturday night....We had good seats and were prepared for a decent show with good music. The opening act was a young guy who was pretty talented. Played acoustic with no back up band and did a noteworthy job. Unfortunately, I don't remember his name.. Reeve or Reef Something. I apologize to him for the slight.

Then Jonny Lang and his 5 piece band took the stage. Mr. Lang was actually a child prodigy in the 90's on the soul/blues/rock scene. He has matured magnificently. He played and sang for over 1 1/2 hours without a hitch, never missing a step. I am not of musician (Husband is an amateur), so I can hardly critique, but it seems this guy has talent oozing from his pores. He's also "not hard on the eyes" as my female friend with us commented.

You can say that again. The combination of his music, voice and looks knocked this old girl flat.

About a quarter of the way into the show, I turned to Husband and said:

"He's my new Crush."

Husband smiles and says to me in a placating way:

"Honey, he's not even 30 yet."

Defiantly, I say:

'Who cares? He is soooo cute!"

I don't know how many time in the course of the show I said: "Gosh, he's cute!" or "Boy, he's cute!" At one point during a particularly impressive guitar riff, I turned to Husband and asked "How come you don't play like that?".

Not in the mood to humor me anymore and wanting hear the concert uninterupted, Husband finally says:

"Teri----He's probably only about 26 or so. You could be his mother."

Maybe so... but I'm not.

So hence, my new crush.

Sorry Eric, it's been a long ride, but now you gotta get in the back seat. Mama's got a brand new bag.

Although, Husband is obviously not threatened by my attraction to this fella either. The next day he burned copies of the Jonny Lang CD's that we own so I could cart them to my car and/or office. Is that a trusting husband or what? Fantasy Island, here I come!!!!

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things (and Why)

2007-01-16T07:32:00.000-08:00

I love, love the internet... It's such a wealth of information....

Example #1: A week or so ago our Whirlpool dryer broke.. just quit blowing and quit heating. It's only 3-5 years old (Husband and I differ, he says 3 and I say 5). Apparently time moves faster for me than him or vice versa.. Either way, the thing gave out way before both of us anticipated.

Now, Husband is fairly handy...I use the term "fairly" in loose content. I believe he thinks he's handier than he really is, because we have had some real messes in 20+ years of homeownership (ex: replacing 1st floor toilet where I was dubbed "plumber's helper"...OH, YUCK!!)..But this time he persevered and won The Battle of the Whirlpool.

He spent an entire day on the internet (in between takes on football) looking up the mechanics of our particular model and finally determined the source of the dryer's illness. Instead of costing us the replacement value of $500, it was a $25 thermostat. And now he can probably take one of those suckers apart and put it back together. Now, there's not a thing he doesn't know about clothes dryers. Just ask him, he'll tell you stuff that will put the Maytag man to shame. Of course, most of the info is totally useless. He's well on his way to becoming the next Cliff Claybourne (from Cheers). A virtual fountain of useless information...

From my own standpoint, there are several sights I frequent often..

I'm a "cooker"... I don't claim to be a gourmet enthusiast, chef or foodie. I just love to cook. I like coming up with stuff that pleases people. I'm a fairly decent cook too... Most of the time, anyway....There have been disasters over the years (ask Husband and Son about exploding spaghetti squash), but overall, I do pretty well. I used to collect cookbooks. But since the discovery of the internet, I just don't need them. I search for recipes, print and try them out, tweak them to suit me, make my notes and pop them in a folder.. TADA!!! Now if I would only organize them all. These are a few of my favorite sites:
allrecipes.com
http://recipegoldmine.com

I also love to plan vacations, especially my own.. Husband and I love Vegas..not so much for the gaming (well, maybe a little), but for all the glitz and glitter... We have a ball just walking up and down the strip, taking in the sights. We also usually go on one good family vacation each year. Last year we went to Seaworld (we would have gone sooner if we had realized that beer is free at Seaworld as Anheuser-Busch is the owner) and Universal for the the first time..Been to Disneyworld several times over the years, been out west to Tahoe, San Francisco, Yosemite, and many, many Atlantic beaches..We like giving our kids experiences. Because we're so economically minded (aka cheap), I'm always looking for the most I can get for my money.. These sites really help out:
http://tripadvisor.com
http://southwest.com
http://cheapovegas.com
http://lasvegastourism.com
http://allearsnet.com
http://www.northmyrtlebeachtravel.com

I could probably go on and on with the vacation stuff...I'm getting ready to start on our family vacation we have tentative scheduled for June.. We're tossing around taking Girly to D. C. (we took Son when he was 12, so she's due) or going back out west, possibly to the Grand Canyon or San Diego. Ummmmmm, decisions, decisions...Money, money....Got to get the most bang for our buck..

I am also always on the lookout for a good buy...I love cheap stuff. My husband will confirm that I am an avid collector of things on sale..Some times this proves to be very beneficial. Sometimes things just collect dust. Here's my favorite cheap stuff sites:
http://orientaltrading.com
http://lakeside.com

One of my best friends (SK) in the world just adopted a 14 month old girl from China. We've worked together at the same agency for over 15 years. I love her to death. When SK came to me and said she was feelin' "called" to adopt from China I thought she was crazy. Her bio-kids are 13 and 10. But SK was adament about it, so I got on board with her...Maybe too much.. I got into researching everything with her, reading websites, travel journals, etc. etc.

See, I now blame her for the fact that I'm on the way to a grandchild. She got my mommy instincts going and had me thinking about exploring adoption, foster parenting, or even getting another dog. So now the Fickle Finger of Fate has intervened, skewed my desires and is giving me a grandchild. Not exactly what I had in mind. I guess my shorthcomings in Faith combined with her whole hearted Faith came up with this package. So,,,,,SK, my having a grandchild is totally your fault. HA! Now, I really have someone to blame.

But I also have a favorite website that we discovered while doing her research.. You can keep up with most all families publishing their adoption experience from China from one spot. There is a wealth of real life info on this link. Stuff your agency doesn't tell you about. We both kept up and she was so very prepared for the trip and adoption process. We are having her baby shower this Friday, the 19th... (another one of my passions). On to the next....

www.chineseadoptionstories.homestead.com

I love Party Planning. My other BFF, KD and I are planning a baby shower for this weekend. As she has said, this part is the most fun of having a party!! More than half the fun is coming up with your plan, decorations, menu, etc. SK, KD and I love this stuff. I have always loved planning and executing my kids' birthday parties. At one time, I thought I would go into party planning and catering when I retire from my day job. That was until I took on the task of planning and executing Husband's 50th birthday party. I had 100 people invited. I did all the organizing, most of the food and the agenda. It was a hell of a lot of work. Things went absolutely perfect, but I was so stressed by the time the big day arrived, all I did was drink all day. Good thing that I took a vacation day the next workday. The older you get, the more time it takes to recover.. I was seriously hungover as with many others.. But there are many helpful hints to be had...

http://partypop.com
http://about.com/food

So, these are just a few words from an internet junkie.

Regurgitation

2007-01-06T19:15:00.000-08:00

So I've chewed on this grandparent thing, regurgitated it, swallowed it back down and come to this conclusion. I'm not so upset that there is a baby on the way, as I'm upset to be the grandparent......, not the aunt, godmother, etc.

I have to admit, I have nothing to be upset about because that would be hypocritical. I was 23 when Son was born, and the circumstances were somewhat similar. I had no clue what was going on and the responsibility which is involved, but I managed(with a wonderful support system), and all worked out for the best. Our kids will be all right too. Both have good heads (most of the time), goals for life and work very hard to try to achieve.

What bothers me is that I am not ready to be a grandma. I'm only 46. I know for most people that sounds outrageous, but I have always preached to my kids that people that are prepared, planned and organized don't get married until they're 25 or have babies until they're 30. I thought they believed me. So I figured I had a few years to adjust... I guess that's hypocrital in itself, but it was just my way to try and make sure that they are ready for all the responsibilities of adulthood before they are actually hit with the package.

But I love my Son with a vengeance and I love Girlfriend too. They have been together for almost five years and she is a part of this family. I don't think either of them have a clue what they are in for, but really, were any of us? Regardless of our age, maturity level, financial status? We learn from experience. As my parents were by my side every step of the way, so will husband and I be. Well, as soon as it fully registers in his brain and consciousness... he has yet to acknowledge the situation.....But it will come.

We have friends that are already grandparents more than one time over, so it will come to him and he will be a great Pappy. But I will not, I repeat, I will not be Grandma and he will not be Grandpa... We will be Grammy and Pappy. Sounds pretty Kentucky typical? We were already calling ourselves that with the dogs so what's the difference, except diapers?

To think, just a few months ago, I was trying to convince Husband that we should consider adoption.....because I was grieving for my lost mommydom....From now on I need to keep my fat mouth shut. This just goes to show, you have to be careful what you wish for..

What I Get for Griping

2007-01-02T07:09:00.000-08:00

Boy, was I a Grinch over the Holiday! When I read back over my previous entry I sound awful.

Well, I got what I deserved for being such a beeotch.....

Xmas came and all went well. I dealt with my in laws and received some impersonal presents. One was a camisole and slip from my mother in law. Obviously she hasn't looked at me in last 15 years or so... The cammie was a 34 (need a 38) and the slip was a mini-slip in a medium. HAHAHAHAHAHA! (need a large or more, I hate to admit). But I dealt with it and moved on...

It has always bugged me when people feel the obligation to buy you gifts, but fail to pay attention to your personal likes, styles, etc. I stressed so this year because I had such trouble trying to come up with stuff... I should have just remembered past Xmas presents from MIL and did the the best I could.

Gift giving should not be an obligation, but as much a pleasure for yourself as the recipient. I think that's why I enjoy buying for kids so much... I love seeing their surprise and pleasure when they open something that they wasn't on their list, but once they see it, they are tickled silly.

Now for the repercussions of my bad mood.

On Xmas Day Son and Girlfriend were over as well as the rest of my side of the family. After we had all ate and were hanging out, Son, Girlfriend, my mom, my sister and I were sitting around just talking and nibbling on leftovers. When Son says to me:

"Well, mom, it's time for your big present!"

"Really, what?"

"You're going to be a grandma...."

"Oh, baloney....you're kidding.."

"No, mom."

My first thought was that they needed our dog Brewzer to move back home with us because he and the other dog were too much together. And I voiced this out loud..

"What, is the dog coming back home?"

"No mom, Girlfriend is pregnant."

"Nuh-Uh.... You're lying."

I looked at Girlfriend sitting next to me on the couch and said:

"Is he lying?"

She looks at me a little shakily and decides to placate.

"Yep, he's kidding."

Son pipes up and says:

"No, I'm not.. Girlfriend is pregnant."

I am stunned and continue to ask him to come clean.

Finally, I look at Girlfriend and say:

"Well, one of you is lying..which one?"

She looks at me and stammers:

"I'm not saying anything,,,,,I'm just sitting here eating."

And to prove her point she shoves cauliflower and carrots with dip in her mouth at a record speed. So reality beigins to set in at this point.

My mother and sister are snickering to beat the daylights... Of course, my sister is 9 years old than me and has a grandchild and one on the way. That's just fine.. That's the way it's supposed to be... IT's supposed to her and not me. And, of course, my mom is supposed to a grandma, she's 76...

How in the world after being together damn near five years, living together for two of those years and just recently acquiring a home does this happen? I thought they had more sense. I have 2 different sets of concert tickets this month.. on back to back Friday and Saturday nights. This can't happen to me. I'm not somebody's GRANDMA!!!

When husband heard the news, he had no response. It's like the news went in his right ear, never registered or made contact and exited out the left ear. He's not mentioned it and neither have I. I think for now he's got the right idea. If we choose to ignore it, maybe somewhere along the way Son will holler, "APRIL FOOL!!", and our world will be back.

I've got to chew on this a bit...

Need a Refresher on "the Reason for the Season"......

2006-12-19T08:15:00.000-08:00

I cannot get excited this Xmas.

No matter what, it just seems more of a necessary irritating inconvenience than a joyful and happy celebration of life and family... I absolutely hate feeling like this.

We actually just put our tree up yesterday and it was just more work than fun. Our outside lights have been out for about two weeks (thanks only to Husband) but I haven't done anything to the inside of my house. No wreaths, nativity sets, etc... I'm such a blob.

I have always been one to get into the holiday season. I liked to decorate my house. I loved shopping for my kids and others. I've always been one of the those early bird shoppers... putting very sincere thought and effort into finding things for people that they would really be excited about. This year not only can I not come up with anything for people, but I just have no motivation to be original and thoughtful.(Holy crap, I'm just like my mother in law!!) I still got up and shopped at the crack of dawn on the day after Thanksgiving, but this year it was just such a chore.

Girly and I went to the mall yesterday but after an hour or so, I just had to get out of there. Too hot, too crowded and too nerve racking.... Sunday afternoon the week before Xmas is a bad time to go anyway, but I'm panicky and desperate. I'm probably going to take a vacation day Wed. or Thur. of this week to finish up...

The other side of the coin is that Xmas Day is usually the day I have my side of the family in for dinner, etc. I haven't planned or done a thing yet. My house needs a thorough cleaning, decorations need to be finished, wrapping done, menus planned and all that stuff. I would rather be on Survivors' Cook Islands. Let me crack open some slimy shellfish, hammer at a coconut, and fight the mosquitos. I need to lose 20 lbs anyway. Anything is preferential to tackling these Holiday responisbilities.

So what's wrong with me? This situation is worrisome... Have I just turned into an old crab? Am I clinically depressed? I need something to inspire me to get into the season.. I could probably enjoy myself if I could just hire someone to do all this stuff for me.

I just need to find my reason for the season...Right now it's elusive... Anybody got some inspiration to share??? As it stands now, Bah Humbug.....

2006-12-07T06:00:00.000-08:00

Goodbye Old Paint.......

Husband and I are not what you would call "Vehicle Snobs". We're not one of those couples whose mode of transportation depicts their social stature. I know people like that and more power to them... My priorities are different... Food, shelter, a satisfactory debt ratio and my children's education come first.

For us, vehicles are practical, functional, quickly depreciating assets which serve a prime purpose in our daily professional and personal life. Once fully depreciated all you have left is practical and functional so we make damn sure we get a lot of bang for our bucks.

As a sales rep for a wholesale distributor, Husband's vehicle is his business vehicle. His mobile office, so to speak.. He gets mileage and expense reimbursement and we get a decent, much needed tax write off. Company literally pays for the car and then some. So, once a car is paid for, the longer he drives it, the better off we are.

Thus, our recent predicament.

Husband's car was a 1994 Corolla with 300,000 miles. (Yes, really 300,000 miles). He bought it new in '94 and it's had a long, productive but rough life. The air conditioning is out, the heat is out, most of the power windows don't work along with a multitude of minor mechanical and major cosmetic issues (the paint is gone). But like the Energizer Bunny, it just keeps going and going.... I quit driving it a long time ago. Girly refuses to be transported to any friend's home or social function in it. We tried to give it to Son at one point when he was having car troubles, but he respectfully declined. It is a neighborhood eyesore.

At one time, husband swore his head contained a rock magnet....because rocks were forever flying up from various highways and dinging the windshield, headlights, paint etc. He never had them fixed.

Later, he claimed that he had an old folk magnet planted in his head as senior citizens kept bashing him. One old woman literally backed right over him with her farm size diesel pick up. Another old guy nailed him because he was disoriented from not taking his morning medication. Bless their hearts, we really felt sorry for them....but we cashed their insurance checks anyway. Once again, at the time due to the car's age, Husband chose not to have the body work done. (I think this is about the time I quit driving it). He just went out to the car with a rubber mallet, pounded out the dents as best he could and continued on his soft drink sellin' way.

This past summer, as he was performing his religious oil change and quarterly cleanup, Son walked up and examined the car.

"Hey Dad, is that a new dent in that door?"

Dad walks over and examines the dent for familiarity....

"No Son, it's the same dent....It just shows up more when the car is clean."

We had been discussing replacing the old car for several months, but he kept putting it off. I think after all these years, he had formed a deep emotional bond. But finally, the prospect of spending an unpredictable Kentucky winter in it got the best of him....

After much discussion, it was decided that he would take my paid off '03 Camry and we would buy a new "family" car.

Whooooheeee!!! What this means is that I get a new car!!! I don't drive much... my route to my office is barely a five mile trip... I toodle around town but don't do a lot of serious road travel. In fact, my Camry barely has 36,000 miles.

For him, taking the Camry was like hitting the lottery. He was totally unaccustomed to such luxury. The day before his first day driving it, he went thru his CD collection, packing several cases with favorites and lovingly placed them in his new mobile office. He sat in the driver's seat, playing with all the windows.....up....down....up....down...He opened the sunroof and let the light shine in..

I felt a little guilty.....But then I got over it...Went and climbed into my brand new Highlander (yes, we are a poster family for Toyota) and sped off to the Kroger. Couldn't wait to open that hatch and load in my groceries. I can't help but feel twinges of materialism creep up when I drive it. I feel like the epitome of upscale middle class.....

Remember that scene at the end of "Cats" where the old cat female cat (can't remember her name) is lifted up into kitty-cat heaven? I feel that should happen with the poor old Corolla. But alas, it's not to be...Some poor schmuck is actually going to buy it from us.....For $400.....We should pay him $400 to haul it away...

So....goodbye Old Paint......it's been nice knowin' ya, but Mom and Dad have "pimped their rides"....

2006-11-18T18:23:00.000-08:00

And The Dog Ate The Cheese....

I just wrote about how our dog is my young'un.

This is a perfect example. The other day Girly came home from school. Son followed on her heels from his new and improved day job. The day before I had just bought a 2 lb. box of Velveeta.....not ready for the fridge yet.. Somehow, during the four hours Brewzer was home by himself he got the box of "processed cheese" off the kitchen counter. How he got up that far and that deep on the counter is a mystery. He does these things when no one is around to witness, so we have no idea if he has some spiritual assistance or superdog power. Son and Girly found the box in Brewzie's kitchen bed. The box top had been ate thru... as well as the aluminum wrapper. he didn't take a big teranasourus bite out of the cheese but licked a huge indentation into half of the brick. Probably about a quarter or third of the whole brick. Son was happy. His exalted in the thought that with that much cheese in Brewzer's system, he wouldn't have to clean the yard for at least a couple of days.

I. on the other hand was pissed at Brewzie Baby. When I got home I whopped him on his butt with the remainder brick of cheese, stuck it in his face, shouting "BAD DOG!!! NO_NO!!!". He was clueless. "Huh? You gonna give me the rest of that cheese?? Gosh, you're a great doggy-mom!".

I threw the remaining cheese away. He didn't get the rest of the cheese but he didn't get the point of the disciplinary action either.

Now on this Saturday night, he lies in his kitchen dog bed, safely tucked in by Girly (he has his own blanket) sleeping like the king of the hill. What a life.

2006-11-17T09:58:00.000-08:00

Bless the Beasts and Children

I've mentioned our dog, Brewzer. Our 80-90 lb. toddler. Remember the movie "Honey, I Blew Up the Baby"? We kind of have that situation with the dog. They need to have a "Biggest Loser" series on Animal Planet. He's a prime contestant. Maybe Anna Nicole can hook him up with some Trimspa. A friend of ours who has always had dogs swears Brewzer has a thyroid problem, but the vet says no. The vet keeps telling us he needs to lose weight, but no matter what we do, the weight doesn't come off. Maybe he's just big boned. That excuse works for a lot of people.

I had never owned a dog in my life and neither had my husband. I've also always been a little scared of them. Especially big dogs. Vito had roommates in his single days who had dogs so he had a slight advantage. He still considered them a pain in the butt. And to listen to him today, he still does. No matter that when he comes home in the evening the first one he greets and talks to is the dog. And the dog is all over him. He absolutely loves him. Clarification: the dog loves Vito. Husband says it's a dog's natural instinct to favor the leader of the pack.. I think that's a bunch of bull. (Even though Brewzer only truly listens to Vito) And though he will deny it to his dying day, Vito loves the dog.

Girly was only 8 when Brewz joined the household. They have grown up together. When she was younger she climbed on him, layed on him, dressed him up, etc. He just took it. When he was a little puppy he spent many a time laying across her lap (and mine)... The problem is that by the time he was 6 months he wasn't fittin' in anyone's lap.

Brewzer has been with us since he was 10 weeks old. He is supposed to be Son's dog. Son and his girlfriend of 4 years. In fact, there was 2 year period when Brewzer, Son and Girlfriend had their own digs. During this period, we kind of had joint custody... Brewz came and spent many weekends at our house and I think he never lost his sense of home there. When Son and Girlfriend decided that each would move back to their parental units in order to save some cash, both Son and dog came back home. I was glad to have the dog... Son was another story, but that's a different blog.

The timing for the dog to move back home was perfect for me from an maternal and emotional perspective. Girly was getting into the preteens and didn't need or want a mommy anymore. I grieved for my lost mommydom. When Son started that phase I had a new baby to replace those mommy needs. This time nothing...Serious nurturing mommy withdrawal.... I started to consider what my options were....God forbid, not another pregnancy...That's physically impossible at this point (hysterectomy in 97) but even at that I'm plenty smart enough to know the older you are the harder it is on your old body. Different options crossed my mind. Foreign adoption of an older child, somewhere between 3 and 8. I considered foster parenting. When I seriously brought these thoughts up to Vito, he began the paperwork process of having me committed. (Not really, but the look on his face was priceless)... I told him of my feelings and how I was missing having that mommy kind of feeling. I finally said, "Look, I'm very serious..I either want to explore to see if we should consider adoption or foster parenting. Or I want to get another dog. "

His response was pretty simple " Well, lucky for me, (meaning himself) I don't have a hankerin' for either one. "

Next thing I know Son is asking if he and Brewzer can come back home. Of course, we couldn't say no. So they bounded back to the homestead. I've come to realize that our big lugnut dog fills my mommy needs. And the bonus is that it doesn't come with the whole parenting package!!!!

I'll bet money that someone out there, (if anyone is even reading) will get on their high horse and chastise me for comparing motherdom to dog mommydom. That's all right. It's just my personal nurturing need that wasn't getting fulfilled. Having a loving and lovable dog who follows me all over the house fills that need.

Recently, Son and Girlfriend have found a house that they want to buy. (Yippee!!!) I pretty much told him not to let the door hit him on the way out.. Not that he's all that much trouble, but after not living at home for two years, it has been a big adjustment for all of us. With Vito, Girly and me, we had 3 functional floors in our house and three functional people. Pretty proportional, huh? But then I told Son there was no way he is taking the dog. We went round and round and sure 'nough they are taking the dog back with them. I am panicky. So is Vito and Girly. What will we do?

So I hit up the Rescue Organizations. I found a dog. He is a 3 year old Shar Pei. He's so ugly he's cute. He's not wrinkley all over...mostly on his face. We met him at the organization's adoptathon. Girly and I were smitten. Tried to get Vito to take a gander at him, but he's in doggy denial. I don't know anything about Shar Pei s except what I've found on the internet. This particular dog is very well behaved (not a barky dog), already fixed, crate trained, very affectionate and most of all, very babyish. He's not as big as a boxer, shorter and stockier.

My natural state of cynicism is scared doggy baby is too good to be true. So I'm asking for some feedback. Does anyone have experience with this breed? I'd hate to think his persona is all a farce and as soon as he has us in his clutches he'll turn into Cujo. Any personal knowledge or experience would be extremely appreciated.

2006-11-14T06:50:00.000-08:00

Birthdays and Mortality Musings

Yesterday was my husband's birthday. Sometimes I'm absolutely horrified by how old we are.

It was Number Five-One for him. Holy Crap. Last year, the Big Five-O was kind of a novelty for us. I thru him a huge birthday party with about 100 people invited. He was surprised, pleased and we all had a great time. The reality of his age just didn't sink in..For crap sake, we just saw the Rolling Stones last month. They're old, not us. By all rights, Keith Richards should be dead. You could shoot embalming fluid thru his veins and he'd probably whoop it up and ask for more.

Mind you, Husband (I've decided to refer to him as Vito) is older than me (by about 5 years so you do the math). But we've been together since my early 20's and his late 20's. Most of the time, neither of us feel anything has changed or think of each other any differently...but when you think about it, our changes have been so subtle, we just don't notice. We're not the same people, not only physically, but intellectually and emotionally. And a lot of time we don't recognize those changes in each other. This is both good and bad. We need to find all the good and nix the bad.

This past year, Vito has been getting stuff in the mail from AARP. In the beginning I teased him about it and made fun. HAR, HAR.... But I've come to realize that it kind of bothers him. His sense of mortality is kicking in...I guess I should be sensitive to that. See, his dad died in his mid fifties of cancer, as his grandads, all of his paternal uncles and one maternal uncle. Get the picture from his point of view. I used to ignore him when he would start his mortality pity party.
Vito (general statement): "Well, I don't have to worry about gettin' old because I'm probably going to die soon after I turn 50 anyway."

His Loving Wife: "Well, you can't. You don't have enough life insurance and I ain't raising these kids by myself." or
"Don't go kickin' the bucket before I'm financially set for life."

Get the picture from my point of view. It just seems so pessimistic (which he has a flair for anyway) and far fetched.

But now, I guess it really isn't. In the past couple of years, Vito has been diagnosed with onset adult diabetes and he's now somewhat lactose intolerant. How in the hell is this Italian guy supposed to eat? He has mozzarella and meat sauce running thru his entire body. He takes several medications for both and we really try to watch his diet.

From my own end, some years ago when Son was going through the Terrible Teens, my family physician started me on a mild antidepressant. Very low dosage but I truly believe this is one of the prime things that kept me from ending up in a rubber walled room. Now that he's a normal human, I have our Girly Girl entering the onset of puberty. I double dare Dr. to take me off the meds. Soon after the antidepressant, Dr. started me on blood pressure meds. That little guage thing insinuated I had chronic HBP. I tried to tell him that no one in my family has ever had hypertension. His glib response was "Well, someone does now...". How empathetic.

So now, the two people who have rocked and rolled all their life, Vegased with the best of 'em and clubbed till dawn each have their very own Longenberger basket full of meds in the kitchen cabinet. Expensive meds containers.

Son summed it up some months ago when he opened the kitchen cabinet for Tylenol or something. He looked inside and then at me saying, "Geez mom, you and dad have really turned into a couple of geriatrics..."

Thank You. Thank You Very Much. Elvis Has Left The Building.

I guess we should have seen mid life mess coming. We have friends who are already at or have been at the crisis point.

One friend of Vito's who had been divorced for many years married a 30 year old blond siren. He is older than Vito by by a year. If the stars had been aligned in the right way, his new wife could have been the fruit of his loins. I remember Vito's comment when Big Al told him about his new girlfriend. "Good Gawd, Alan.... I have underwear older than her." Not that the average age of Vito's underwear is something to be proud of, but it defines our immediate reaction to the romance. Alan's daughter from his first marriage is 23 or 24, but my guess is that she'll have a sibling here in the next couple of years.

My brother in law went out and bought a Harley. After he bought it, he decided the one he bought was a Sissy Harley, so he sold it and bought a bigger Manly Harley. My sister in law didn't fight with him over it. She just told him to take out a supplemental policy as he refuses to wear a helmet most of the time. He's on suicide watch.

Another long time friend did the same thing. He and his wife have been together since she was 14 and he 19. (Yes, really) In their early days they followed each other across the country.. Louisville to Houston, to New Orleans, to New Jersey to Louisville. Their boys are in high school, he's 48 and fast approaching his 25th wedding anniversary... What to do? Of course, time to buy a big, fast cycle!!! Not a Schwinn, but one of those nifty ones with all the sleek lines and sporty helmets. At least he wears a helmet.. but he is a nurse practitioner who has worked in the trauma unit. Seen enough of everyone elses blood, doesn't care to see his own.

One friend had an affair after he and his wife had been married 15 years or so. They also had been together since high school. They separated for some time. Everyone was upset because they had always appeared so stable. By the grace of God and a ton of effort on their part, they worked thru it. Since then, they have produced two beautiful children and life seems good. I applaud them because infidelity is a huge hurdle for me.

I'm not picking on how people deal with this middle age or post middle age thing. Vito is just now going thru the brunt of it. Since we just toured the Gibson Guitar Factory earlier this month on a mini vacation to Memphis/Tunica, I look to come home one day and find a custom made $20K Stratesphere (or another one of them there fancy guitars) in my livingroom along with a brand new home equity line of credit to pay for it. Lord knows how I'm going to deal with it for myself. Become Mrs. Robinson? Not a bad idea. Dustin Hoffman was pretty cute in that movie. But wait......Now HE'S OLD TOO!!! SHI*T. Up the meds, I guess.

But for now, I guess we'll just keep track of our kids, our health and our home while scoping out the best live music venues.

Ciao, Baby.

2006-11-08T12:08:00.000-08:00

Blogging Virgin

Yes, this the first time for me. I'm new to the Blog World. I know, I know....Always a day late and a dollar short. I really don't know why I'm doing this, other than I have been reading other blogs on various subjects and thought why not? Not only do I not know how to work the multiple MP3 Players in our house, I really have no idea how to work the IPod. Where does that put me? What's my 2 cents worth? Probably less than 2 cents.....

I really don't know how to start.....Should I voice my political opinions? My position on marriage? My position on parenting? What about my religious views? Geez Louize, I just don't know what to say.

So...I guess I'll start with my immediate family. There's my husband. Been married for over 20 years. He's the grandson of Italian immigrants who settled in Cambridge, MA. Very autocratic guy, at least in his mind. I've learned how to work him over the years. He is my hero. For all his faults, I know that there is no one in this world more protective and defensive of me and our kids. Yes, he has an explosive temper (he yells a lot), he's a know it all (although I know he doesn't)....I give him the benefit of the doubt. His goal in life is to provide as best he can for his family.. and he has. We have a lovely home, our kids have had every opportunity for private educations and we live virtually debt free. He loves his kids and his family with a vengeance. Although I have a career utilizing an advanced degree, we have always lived off of his salary as a sales rep. We've grown on each other over the years to the point where I don't think either of us can do without the other. He's my hero and I am his. I know this.

My oldest is my son. He is soon to be 23. He is a child of my heart for many reasons. I won't go into everything at this point. He is special in many ways. Always has beeen sensitive and emotionally in tune. On my side of the family he holds a very unique place. He is named for his grandpa (my dad). He is the only son my dad had from birth. His beginning in life was a great moment for my side of the family. Over the years he has given me the greatest joy of my life, but also my greatest heartache. As I watch him now, emerging as a responsible adult with a future, I am so proud. He is my heart.

My youngest is my daughter. The child my husband and I never thought would happen.

We waited for her and had given up...content with our boy and the fact that under the circumstances we would be just fine. But fate and a snowstorm in 1994 intervened. We had always intended to add to our family. When our son was 3, we gave up on the BC and assumed nature would take its course. It didn't. We waited. It preyed on me. I wanted another child. The perfect family of 4. We pursued fertility from a very rudimentary perspective. Both went thru testing, nothing really wrong. I may have gone further, but my husband felt strongly that if it was supposed to happen it would. Put our faith in God. (yes, we do believe) Lo and Behold, in the winter of 94, one month after my dad died of cancer I came up pregnant. We had no clue. I felt so icky. When I told husband that the last time I felt like this I was pregnant, he responded with "No way..You can't be pregnant. It's been 7 years. It's a tumor or something." What a guy. The tumor weighed in at 7 1/2 lbs and 20 inches long on 10/27/94. I wouldn't trade her for anything. She has three parents--her dad, mom and her brother. She is my best friend (most of the time considering her pubescent state) and she is my heart.

We have a dog. An overweight boxer named Brewzer. We had never owned a dog and had no desire to do so. But one day when my son was 19 he called home . "Mom! I just bought a dog. I'm bringing him home tonight." Dog? What kind? How big? "He's a Boxer pup... Don't worry, he's a miniature". I found out later there is no such thing as a miniature Boxer. He now weighs damn near 90 lbs. He is also a huge baby who is attached at hubby's hip. An extremely overweight toddler. We love him.

Myself - Don't know what to say. My life focuses around my kids, my home and my husband.. In that order. I work outside the home for a quasi-govermental utility. I love where I work. Been there 21 years. The agency paid my way thru undergraduate and graduate school. I owe it big time. I like what I do. I'm a woman working in a man's world but those fellas usually listen to me. I treat them like my husband and kids. I holler and carry on when I need. I'm not afarid to say what's on my mind. It's kinda like being old... Been there so long I've earned the right to speak my mind...and I do. I can retire in 07 with 22 years. Don't know if I will or not. Still got a kid in private school with 6 years to go, so it's highly unlikely. Especially if you ask my husband.

I think I've come up with enough for now. My thought in starting this is that it would provide some theraputic venting. Kind of a cleansing of the soul. I haven't even touched the surface yet. I guess it really won't matter if anyone reads or not. It will still do my brain some good.